Balrog ran in for a Dash Punch, but it was blocked by Jax's metal arms. "GOTCHA!" Jax was proving to be a larger challenge than Balrog initially thought. Rolento was running into the same problem with Sonya. All of his baton attacks were being countered by Sonya's cartwheels, and she was too fast for Rolento to counter himself.
"Come on, is the German military really this pathetic?"
Rolento started to have a better idea - running. He rolled backwards into the maze of crates the warehouse created. Sonya ran after him, but eventually Rolento lost her. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.
/The Ring\
Wesker dodged Cody's Criminal Upper and sent him flying with a lauch attack. His phone was ringing and needed to get into a safe area. He decided the corner was a good bet.
"Yeah?"
"Ja, this is Rolento. Ve ran into some interference and ve need a little backup."
"Alright, consider it done." Wesker hung up and dashed to Dormammu. "Rolento and Balrog ran into a problem, I need you to go fix it."
"Screw that, I have the fire of the Gods. I'm winning this thing."
"That wasn't a request." A roundhouse kick sent Dormammu flying out of the ring and into Jolly Roger's Bay from Banjo Tooie. Steam filled the entire town for a full 15 minutes as a result.
The newly entered Kano had his hands around Raiden's neck. "'Ey old friend, how's it hanging?"
Mitsurugi slashed Solid Snake's grenade out of the air. "You really think your explosives are going to have any effect on a former samurai?"
"A samurai?"
Mitsurugi stopped and looked confused. "You really just figured that out?"
Solid Snake took a knee. "Para-Medic, you know all about Japanese stuff, right? What's a samurai?" Mitsurugi was actually astonished. Did this guy really radio his support mid-battle to ask what a samurai was? Out of a mixture of pity, confusion, and that awkward feeling you get when you realize you've been fighting a mentally handicapped person, Mitsurugi decided to walk away. He walked into Gen, who rolled into him and attacked him with an array of flying kicks.
"Well Snake, samurai were noble military soldiers in the Feudal Japan days. Have you ever heard of The Seven Samurai? It's a great film directed by Akira Kurasawa, you should definitely watch it." Para-Medic was going off in one of her usual tangents about films.
"Okay, but how do I kill it?"
"Well, ninjas were covert agents trained to sneak around and kill samurai. They specialized in infiltration and espionage. Hm, kind of like you Snake."
"So, I just have to...be me?"
"Basically. Do whatever you do best."
Snake ended the transmission. "Do what I do best, huh?"
Mitsurugi upward slashed Gen out of the ring. He turned around and found himself looking into a crocodile mask at a Solid Snake wearing zombie face paint and a Santa suit.
"Uhh..."
"Hey Mitsurugi, do you like pythons?"
"...Uhhh, what's..."
"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!" Snake threw a Burmese python onto Mitsurugi and shot him in the crotch with tranquilizer darts about 8 times before kicking him over the top ropes.
"She said do what I do best." Snake said, doing an exaggerated shrug, pandering to the audience. The crowd erupted into a giant storm of cheering.
"That was probably the most entertaining 30 seconds of my life." Joe smacked his hand on the desk.
Mitsurugi was woken up in a field next to Gen. "Where are we, old man?"
"I know just as much as you."
Mitsurugi sheathed his katana and started walking. Gen followed close behind.
/Announcer's booth\
"Uh oh." Sven said into his mic. "Looks like Mitsurugi and Gen have entered..." he sounded an alarm. "The Skyrim challenge! Contestants landing in Skyrim will stay there for the rest of the contest, but if they survive, everything they loot will be theirs to keep!" Sven turned off his mic.
"Gen's not surviving." John laughed.
/The Rift\
Mitsurugi and Gen were both walking to nowhere in silence. Mitsurugi saw a figure in the distance.
"Hey, let's see if that guy can help us."
/The Ring\
Kabal and Litchi had entered the ring while all this was going on. Kabal had Spin Dashed into Guile. "Ksshhkt." Kabal dug his crowbars into Guile's shoulders and tossed him to the mat. Guile sprung back up.
"SONIC BOOM!" His Sonic Booms were meeting with Kabal's Gas Blasts.
Litchi had stuck her staff into the ground and was knocking Cody into it. Her air combos were really giving him some trouble. Cody countered with a Criminal Upper as Valkenhayn appeared in the ring.
"Madam, may I assist you in beating up on this common thug?"
"That'd be lovely." Litchi and Valkenhayn proceeded in double teaming Cody.
Wesker flung Freddy Krueger in the air and hit him with an array of kicks and gunshots. Freddy fell in a heap of pain. "That's a nice combo, kid. You have a chance of beating me...in your dreams!" Freddy attacked him with a flying claw.
"Wait, no you don't have a chance of beating me in your dreams, because that's where I specialize. Um, wait.."
Wesker threw Freddy over the ropes and Bullsworth Academy. Freddy got bored and decided to kill some teenagers to pass the time.
/Warehouse 2-B\
Jax quickly learned that Balrog was just as strong as him. As soon as Balrog got Jax's attacks down and knew how to counter them, he started delivering swift hooks to Jax's face.
"You know, you're a pretty good fighter." Jax backdashed, and started breathing heavily.
"You too, man. Gotta ask you. You banging blondie over there?"
"Excuse me?"
"The bitch. You get in that yet?"
"No, I'm her commanding officer. That would be absurdly unprofessional."
"...What?"
"I mean, we hooked up when we were drunk once but..."
"You mean you're not tapping that? And you've haven't even tried? You a stupid ass nigga." Balrog ran in and dash punched Jax to the ground. "Lights out, motherfucker." An uppercut knocked Jax down for the count. At that monent, Dormammu appeared. "So Wesker wanted me to help, where's the problem?" Balrog pointed over to the maze of boxes, where Sonya was still looking for Rolento.
"Take out the blonde bitch with the big titties, yo." Balrog said as he stomped the unconscious Jax in the crotch. "Yeah stomp ya in da nuts. Yeah bitch ass nigga whatchoo gonna do? Nuttin cuz I knocked you the FUCK OUT!"
/The Ring\
Up in the booth, John put Danzig on the speakers.
~Am I beast or
Am I human
Am I just like you
Power seething
Really reeling
Reaching out for more
Am I demon
Need to know~
Akuma slowly walked towards the ring a huge amounts of cheers. He jumped in and immediately hurricane kicked Valkenhayn in the back.
"Have some class! How dare you hit a man in the back."
"Alright then." Akuma Shoryukened Valkenhayn in the jaw and over the ropes. He landed in the Living Forest stage in Mortal Kombat where a tree ate him alive.
/The Rift\
Mitsurugi turned his head to Gen, still walking. "The sign says we'll reach a town called Riften soon." Gen said nothing. He wasn't really much of a talker. A Khajit in leather armor approached them. "May I help you?"
"You're not from around these parts are you? See, this is a toll road. Fork up 200 gold or turn around."
"We don't have any gold, see we were in this tournament and-"
"No money? Then die!" The Khajit drew his steel sword. Mitsurugi tossed Gen a sword, thin sword, and separated the Khajit's torso from his legs with one motion of his sword. His buddies soon joined the fight. Gen looked at the sword Mitsurugi threw him and decided this would be better settled with his fists.
/The Ring\
Storm flew into the middle of the ring and held her arms out. "LIGHTNING STORM!" Everyone in the ring was hit by the surge of lightning except for Guile, who was blocking, and Wesker, who had super jumped at just the right time. Kabal got the worst of it and ended up flying out of the ring.
Kabal ended up landing on a patch of grass in front of a shed. A man with thick glasses came out, shocked. "Hey Ricky, a god damn fuckin' spaceman fell out of the sky!"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Bubbles?" A man with a pompadour and a patchy goatee stepped out of the shed. "Holy shit, a spaceman." Kabal got up.
"Kssshkt. Where am I? Kssshkt."
"Well, you're in front of my friend Bubbles's shed. We're about to smoke some dope and get drunk. Hey, you got any space weed on you?"
"Space weed? Kssshkt. I'm not from space, there was a fighting tournament and-"
"Holy fuck, Ricky, he's a UFC fighter!"
"Oh fuck yeah, I've always wanted to meet one of you guys. Come into Bubbles's shed and we'll smoke some dope."
Kabal shrugged and decided to go inside.
/Announcer's booth\
John turned to Sven. "Did you really add Trailer Park Boys to the multi-dimensional transporter's dimension base?"
Sven smiled. "Maybe."
Seth entered the ring and was immediately attacked by Guile, Storm, Akuma, Cody, and Raiden. Feeling overwhelmed, he teleported to the other side of the ring and laughed. However, he didn't realize Raiden had teleported behind him.
WHAM!
An uppercut sent Seth into Acid Pool from Mortal Kombat. SSSSSSSSsssss...
Raiden shot lightning into the air to celebrate his 2nd elimination, but unfortunately, Kano was right next to him. Kano punched through Raiden's chest and ripped out his heart.
"Fatality, mate." A roundhouse kick sent Raiden's corpse into The Sims. It was safe to say that that Sim's party was a night to remember.
/The Rift\
Mitsurugi wiped the blood off his blade with a rather pristine silk rag. In the distance he could see a town on the coast of the ocean. He decided to walk there and find out where the hell he was at.
/Warehouse 2-B\
Rolento had lured Sonya where he wanted. He sat on top of a giant stack of boxes, stalking his prey. Sonya looked around. "Where the hell did he go to?" She quickly noticed a tripwire connecting two boxes. "Does he really think I'm that stupid? Come on, this is amateur stuff." She knelt down to disarm the tripwire. Rolento had planned that. In fact, the tripwire wasn't even attached to any trap.
He jumped down and beat Sonya over the head with his baton. She was out cold. Dormammu finally caught up with them. "Where's the girl I was supposed to help you wimps with?" He looked down to see Sonya unconscious.
"Ja, she was pretty cute so ah decided to take her out." Rolento laughed at his own joke. Dormammu didn't.
"Well, boss wants us to grab the guns and leave." Dormammu looked around. "Even if he is a bastard." He said between his teeth.
/The Ring\
Sakura Kasugano had entered the ring to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt 1 by The Flaming Lips.
"Yay! I'm back in this tournament, ready to kick some butt! Then maybe Ryu will take me in as his pupil and I won't have to deal with poopyfaced Dan anymore!" She ran up to Cody. "Hey Cody! You're a meanie so I'm gonna have to eliminate you, okay?" She put up her fists.
"Are you kidding me?" Cody raised an eyebrow. Sakura dove in for a Shoryuken, but Cody blocked it and gave her a Criminal Upper. The shock sent her back into the ropes. A side kick sent Sakura toppling over the ropes and into Persona 4. The other students looked at her. Two girls in the corner were gossiping. "What's with her outfit? Nobody wears those white sailor uniforms anymore." "Yeah, and what's with that headband?"
Litchi ran up to Cody. "Hey, that wasn't very nice! I mean she was just a teenage girl. You didn't have to be that cruel to her." Cody just looked at her.
"You're really rude you know that? You should be more respectful to women."
"Shut up." Cody threw her over the ropes. She landed in an alley Final Fight 2. A group of thugs noticed the scantily clad woman who appeared out of nowhere.
"Hey, ain't this one a beaut?"
"Yeah, we're gonna have some fun with you..."
"Not a chance." The next 15 minutes consisted of Litchi beating them within inches of their lives.
Felicia rolled into the ring and started slashing at the strongest contender in the ring, Akuma. "Nyaaahhh I'm too fast for you Mr. Demon!"
Akuma was not amused by Felicia's antics. "It's unwise to challenge me, Darkstalker." A hurricane kick knocked her to the ground.
Guile meanwhile was busy with Storm. He Whirlwinds kept pushing him back, but he was getting closer and closer. Storm readied for a Hailstorm, but Guile dashed under her and Flash Kicked her out of the ring. She landed in Marvel vs Capcom 2. Colossus ran up to greet her. "Hey Storm- woah, what did you do to your hair, it looks...different."
Steve Fox was fresh in the ring jabbing Kano in the chest.
/Mercedes-Benz SuperDome Hotel\
Balrog, Rolento, and Dormammu managed to sneak a hefty load of guns and ammunition back into Wesker's room where M.O.D.O.K., Virgil, Firebrand, Heihachi, Jin Kazama, Kazuya, Juri, Adon, and Kuma were standing around talking. Of course except for Kuma for we all know bears can't talk.
Dormammu silenced the room. "Now, with Wesker in the ring, he's not here to order us. We're about to start executing some plans I had in mind."
"Hey, who the hell put you in charge?" Heihachi hollered.
"Nobody did." Said a voice from behind. The voice belonged to Dr Doom, who walked into the room with Magneto. "Sit down, Dormammu."
"Yes sir." Dormammu slumped into a chair.
"Now." Magneto said. "Being Wesker is gone, we are going to be the ones filling in for him."
"First order of business, recruits." Dr Doom's voice held a volume of nobility. "Balrog, what could we do to recruit your friends at Shadoloo?"
"Well boss." Balrog put down the guns he had smuggled in. "Vega's a possibility. The guy'd do anything for skrilla, man."
"Skrilla?"
"Money, sorry, boss. Sagat's a definite no. The guy's hell bent on destroying Ryu, and he's gonna stand by Bison's side until Ryu's dead."
"Plus, we don't need that wussy Sagat anyway, everyone knows I'm the best Muay Thai around." Adon chimed in.
"How about the new Street Fighters, Hugo and Poison?"
"They could work. A sleazy pro wrestler and his ex-gang member manager. Most def' a possibility."
Virgil stood up. "Not a lot of Marvel vs Capcomers wanted to join either. Super Skrull hates the Avengers as much as you, Dr but being the Fantastic Four aren't involved, he feels no need to be involved in any trouble involving them, blah blah blah. X-23 went on a "I'm not evil I was just forced into doing evil things" tangent, and Shuma Gorath just doesn't care about "puny human nonsense." Akuma, I don't trust that guy one bit, I didn't even try."
Dr Doom thought for a second. "How about Deadpool and Taskmaster? They're mercenaries."
"They're pretty attached to the idea of fighting for good."
"Damn."
Magneto spoke up. "What about the Soul Caliburs and BlazBlues?"
Firebrand snarked. "Yeah good luck with THOSE looneys."
Jin Kazama agreed. "Ivy's a crazy sadist, Cervantes is even crazier, Astaroth...that's a whole bother ball game with him. Voldo is...well, Voldo, Tira makes no sense half of the time, and Nightmare's a one man squad. He's his own leader. We're better off without them."
Kazuya spoke with his eyes closed, sitting on the best in a meditative position. "The BlazBlue fighters don't want to be involved at all. They feel they lucked out on being invited to this rumble, and don't really wanna ruin their reputations by being involved in something shady."
"We need Kano in here." Dr Doom spoke. "We knows more about Shao Kahn than any of us do. Most of the recruitable Mortal Kombatants are extremely loyal to Shao Kahn. We might have to take him down. That or persuade his followers."
"Yes, but for now that is irrelevant. I'll take care of M. Bison for now. Balrog, you pay Vega and Hugo a visit." Magneto looked at his group. "Any questions?"
M.O.D.O.K. spoke up. "Yeah when do we get paid?" Magneto Disrupter Blasted him into the wall. "You'll get paid when the jobs done and we have the power of multi-dimensional travel. Do I make myself clear, M.O.D.O.K.?"
"Crystal."
Dr. Doom turned to the silent one in the room. "Juri, you've haven't said anything. You have anything to add?"
"I care not for the politics of this plan. I just wanna do my job, get paid, and get the hell out of here."
Dr. Doom was taken aback. "I like you, you have the qualities of a great key component in this operation."
M.O.D.O.K. was visibly angry. "Hey, she talks back to you and you compliment her, I say-"
"Magneto, please."
Magneto gave M.O.D.O.K. another Disruptor Blast. M.O.D.O.K. stopped talking, for now.
/The Ring\
Hakan slid into the ring and belly flopped onto Steve Fox. "Ho ho ha! Now you know the might of Turkish oil wrestlers!" A powerful uppercut to Hakan's jaw sent him flying into Halo, where he was run over by a Spartan on a banshee.
Felicia (eliminated thanks to Akuma) landed on top on the banshee. She quickly hopped off and scurried to safety.
Steve Fox felt like he was on a roll, so he rushed over to eliminate Guile. He bumped into Kano on the way. "Where d'ya think yer goin'?" An enhanced forward roll sent Steve Fox into Punch-Out.
"Hey, kid glad you're here, our scheduled fighter, Glass Joe's a no-show. Get your gloves laced and go in."
"..What?"
"You think YOU can take on King Hippo?" A booming voice said from the boxing ring.
"Try me, tubby."
The resulting assbeating left a lot of Vegas bookies happy and a lot of gamblers unhappy.
Guile weaved back and forth avoiding Snake's grenades. One Flash Kick later, and Solid Snake ended up in Splinter Cell Conviction, where he and Sam Fisher traded espionage stories over a bottle of scotch.
"Wow folks, looks like these fighters are going down like bowling pins. Only 5 left, and it looks like the third batch of fighters are making their way to the ring." Sven said into his intercom.
===========================================================
Results: (15 votes)
Akuma (SF4AE) 12:3 (80%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 12:4 (75%)
Guile (SF4AE) 11:5 (69%)
Cody (SF4AE) 11:5 (69%)
Kano (MK) 10:5 (67%)
-----------Line of Survival---------------
Solid Snake (SSBB) 10:6 (63%)
Steve Fox (SFxT) 9:6 (60%)
Storm (UMVC3) 9:6 (60%)
Mitsurugi (SC5) 9:7 (57%)
Raiden (MK) 9:7 (57%)
Felicia (UMVC3) 7:8 (47%)
Freddy Krueger 7:8 (47%)
Sakura (SF4AE) 6:9 (40%)
Litchi Faye-Ling (BBCSX) 5:10 (33%)
Kabal (MK) 5:10 (33%)
Dormammu (UMVC3) 5:11 (31%)
Hakan (SF4AE) 4:11 (27%)
Gen (SF4AE) 4:11 (27%)
Seth (SF4AE) 3:12 (20%)
Valkenhayn R. Hellsing (BBCSX) 2:13 (13%)
BONUS MATCH:
Balrog (SF4AE) and Rolento (SFxT)
beat
Jax and Sonya Blade (MK)
6 to 5 with 4 abstentions
KOs: 2 - Akuma, Wesker, Guile, Cody, Kano 1 - Snake, Steve, Storm, Mitsurugi, Raiden
KO leaders: 4 - Guile 3 - Wesker, Cody, Snake
Flash in the pan award: Dormammu, who after landing 2nd place last round barely getting any votes this round
Capcom's domination, not only in games, but votes: Capcom took the 4 top spots, and have earned a total of 12 KOs so far.
Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio
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