Monday, March 26, 2012

Round 5 (Intro)

/Hotel Hallway\

Magneto floated down the hallway, looking for a particular room. Even if he hadn't known the room number beforehand, finding the room wouldn't really be hard, for there was a giant Thai man in front of it.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, I assume you're Sagat."

"Yes, and who the hell are you."

"My name is Magnus, also known as Magneto. I wish to speaking to your employer, Mister Bison."

"Sorry, but nobody speaks the Bison. He's not in the best of moods."

"I must insist."

"Well I must insist you leave. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." Sagat tightened his fists.

"Is that a threat? You obviously don't know who I am."

"It really doesn't matter Magnus."

/The Ring\

The next batch of names were about to be called.

"KYO KUSANAGI!" (KOFXIII)

The young fighter walked down to the ring, fire sparkling from his hands, greeted by huge cheers.

"ZERO!" (UMVC3)

Even bigger cheers were given to Zero. The co-star of the Mega Man X series looked around the ring, wondering who he should eliminate first. Everyone in the arena was cheering...except one jealous robot.

"BOOO! ZERO SUCKS!" Mega Man threw a soda towards Zero, missing. "How could they have people like Nathan Spencer and MODOK in MVC3 but not Capcom's freaking mascot?"

"ELYSIUM!" (SC5)

"Who?"

"...New Soul Caliburian, Sven. Do a little more research next time, please. And our next mystery contestant..."

"KENSHIRO!" (FOTNS:KR)

Dusk suddenly burst into the announcer's booth and sat next to Sven. Sven just looked at him. "What the hell are you doing here, Dusk?"

"Well, my Kenshiro senses were tingling so I decided to join you guys in commentary."

"...Alrighty, then."

"YOSHIMITSU!" (SC5)

"AGAIN?" All the other fighters in the ring turned around at the same time.

"No, no, no...it's a different Yoshimitsu. One less annoying." Sven called out on the microphone.

"NAMU NAMU NAMU!"

"...Okay, not any less annoying, I admit."

"HUGO!" (SFxT)

"~DU!
DU HAST!
DU HAST MICH!~"

Crappy Hot Topic buttcore flooded the area as the giant German wrestler stomped into the ring.

"GHOST RIDER" (UMVC3)

The crowd immediately began booing.

"Folks I assure you, this is not the crappy Nicholas Cage version, this is the real deal comics version."

The crowd didn't heard him and continued booing.

"Our next mystery contestant..."

"JUNIOR DOS SANTOS!" (UFC:U3)

Part of the crowd cheered, part of the crowd booed, the other half said, "Who the hell is Junior Dos Santos?"

"DEADPOOL!" (UMVC3)

The entire crowd erupted in cheers as the cocky mercenary danced down to the ring.

"HAW YEAH! SHORYUKENS AND HADOKENS COME TO ME! I am Deadpool, the baddest, raddest, most KICKASS guy there is. Also a hit with the ladies. Speaking of that, I'm on Facebook. Drop me a line, honeys, and I will get right back to ya after I win this thing!"

"POISON!" (SFxT)

"~DUUUUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAD-AY!
uh huh! uh huh!
DUUUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAY-DAY!"

Every man in the arena suddenly turned gay as the transexual Poison blew kisses at the audience. Awkwardness ensued.

"RAVEN!" (SFxT)

"Hey Wesker! Boss is there anything I can do for you? Who do you want me to eliminate, I can do it real good, I'll kill whoever looks at you funny."

"ASH CRIMSON!" (KOFXIII)

"God damnit." Sven said. "I already used 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' for Poison, now what am I gonna do?"

"KIM KAPHWAN!" (KOFXIII)

"Kim, you like exterminating evil, right? Boy do I have the story for you..." Kung Lao said to Kim.

And the last fighter of this round...

"Z.W.E.I.!" (SC5)

"Who?"

"...Shut up, Sven."

Round 4 (Results)

Going to Haggar was a great move, Ryo had realized. The man was a lot smarter than he looked - in fact he was a god damned MAYOR - and had a great plan for quickly recruiting people to his side. The idea was simple; let someone on the inside know what's going on. The inside being of course the ring, not the useless security (useless thanks to Joe, to be honest, who had basically thrown security completely off Wesker's trail out of pure apathy). First, they had to find somebody. Ryu? Yeah that'd work. Kyo? Great idea. Something caught Ryo's eye, heading to the locker rooms.

"Kung Lao!" Ryo called out.

Kung Lao turned around. "Yes?"

"Hey, I'm glad I ran into you, we could both use your assistance." The monk looked confused.

"Excuse me but, I'm not so sure I know you." Ryo raised an eyebrow.

"You don't remember me? Ah, nevermind, we need your help. Wesker, the blonde guy with the sunglasses in the ring..." Ryo explained the entire situation. Kung Lao took a second to think over the situation. "Yes, I will help.  I'll see what I can do once I'm in the ring. Perhaps you should inquire with Lord Raiden. He should be of help." Ryo nodded. Ryo and guy bid adieu to Kung Lao as they parted their separate ways.

"Now...let's find this Raiden guy." Guy smiled. They passed Quan Chi in the hall way, who was making his way to the eliminated seating. Shao Kahn's instructions were playing in his head.

/The Ring\

Back in the ring, Kratos and Ezio were engaged in a heated duel. Ezio was dodging the Chains of Olympus and fired a round from his pistol at Kratos. It grazed his arm, but Kratos being well, Kratos, barely flinched and continued his assault.

"THE MIGHT OF THE SPARTAN ARMY IS WITHIN THESE BLADES, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE!"

"I must disagree, by the Auditore family has bestowed their assassins arts onto me, and eventually, you will grow weary, for my poison tipped blades are stopped by no man, neither Noble or Spartan. While I have never faught a Spartan of your caliber, I will let you know I will eventually come up on top."

"THE SPARTAN LEGACY IS ONE THAT SPANS A GREATER TIME PERIOD THAN THOSE OF THE AUDITORE ASSASSINS! I'VE FACED TONS OF ASSASSINS, MANY MEN FELL AT MY KNEES! YOU RELY ON SNEAKINESS AND STEALTH AMONG OTHER THINGS SUCH AS TRICKERY AND SHADOWS, BUT I SPILL THE BLOOD OF EVERY ENEMY I FACE WITH THESE HERE BLADES, AND YOU WILL NOT BE AN EXCEPTION!"

"I beg to differ for..."

The audibility of Ezio and Kratos's quarrel were drowned out by Guile and Bison.

"YOU." *wham* "BASTARD." *wham* "HOW." *wham* "DARE." *wham* "YOU." *wham* "KILL." *wham* "CHARLIE!" *wham* "YOU." *wham* "WILL." *wham* "PAY." *wham* "FOR." *wham* YOUR." *wham* "CRIMES!" *wham*

Wesker retreated back into a corner and dodged Akuma's Hadokens. Leona was convulsing and attacking Yoshimitsu who blocked her attacks, and had yet to deliver one of his own.

"The Yoshimitsu-5000 comes equipped with the necessary protection to ward off crazy women with blood curses. Men, have no fear! Should you ever date a woman with a blood curse, the Yoshimitsu-5000 will be there to prevent such dilemmas!" Ralf had been in the eliminated seating, shaking his head at Leona's terrible decision.

"YES YOUR ASSASSINS MAY HAVE KILLED SEVERAL POLITICIANS AND DIGNITARIES BUT I HAVE KILLED GODS!"

"I live by shadow and family, you live by vengeance and power, you will be slain."

Phoenix had entered the ring, and flew around the ring blasting people with TK Shots, and diving into Akuma with TK Overdrives.

"BASTARD!" *wham* "BASTARD!" *wham* "BASTARD!" *wham*

Leona stopped her assault for a moment and dodged back.

"The Yoshomitsu-5000 wears out the toughest opponents! With its patented design, it can withstand the most gruesome of assaults. Two year warranty! Act now and receive this handy keychain laser pointer!"

"SHUT..." Leona was engulfed in red flames. "...UP!!!!!" A giant flame sword had formed around her arm, and with a strike of terrific force, slammed into Yoshimitsu.

"The Yoshimitsu-5000, however is not equipped for being ripped in half by an exploding flame sword. Shutting down." Pieces of Yoshimitsu eventually landed in WALL-E. Tiny droids cleaned up the mess in seconds. The crowd chanted Leona's name, but Leona in her state was unable to register it, and just continued her mad assault on the rest of the ring.

Natsu saulted into the ring. "Alright! Time to prove I belong here! I'm so much better than Taki, and much prettier! Now who's going down fi-"

"PREPARE YOURSELF!"

Akuma sent Natsu into Naruto: Ninja Storm, where Hinata nursed her wounds.

/Eliminated Seatings\

Ralf was fed up. "Leona's not coming to her senses. This is really bad. She's gonna make a fool of herself." He needed to think. The arena was not the place to have a ponder, however. Way too much noise. He decided to take a walk.

However, as he was walking he noticed something strange. He felt...alone. In fact he was alone. The usually crowded lobby was now completely desolate and dark. Ralf felt this rush of intense fear. He decided to run. The room grew darker and darker the more he progressed, and the walls seemed to move farther and farther away from him. "What the hell is going on?"

"Hello? Is anyone here? Where am I?" Had he stumbled onto a back room? He wasn't paying 100% attention to wear he was walking, but he was certain he was heading towards the hotel.

"ANYONE?"

Ralf turned around. Maybe if he could go back the way he came, he could find his way back to the arena. A figure blocked his path. A bald, pale man with red insignias across his body, and black eye makeup.

"Ralf Jones, you had led a life of mindless servitude. Fighting, what was it all worth? Glory? Wealth? What do you have to say for yourself?" The man bellowed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ralf's fear grew more overwhelming. He wasn't a man who scared easily, but at this moment he felt as if he could cry.

"Why fight for yourself when you could be fighting for the greater good?"

"...What?"

"Ralf you are nothing but a tool in warfare. A mere pawn. Join me and you will be all you wish you were. All your fears, all your insecurities, vanished."

Ralf could feel his will crumbling. "...Yes...YES! I'm tired of being a pawn!"

"Very good, now your path to nirvana has been complete." Quan Chi snapped his fingers. The room returned to normal. People passed by him. Everything was as it was. However, Ralf's eyes were completely white.

"Now." Quan Chi beckoned. "Follow me, slave."

"Yes, master..." Ralf's usual boisterous voice was now tired and monotone.

/The Ring\

Kung Lao teleported to avoid Dante's gunshots. "Please, stop fighting me, I need your help!"

"Ha! Like you're going to trick me with that!"

"Alright, fine then." Kung Lao spun around and caught Dante in an X-Ray attack. Dante groaned about his broken bones.

"Oh get up, I just broke a few of your bones, it's not that big of a deal..."

"Ooowww..." Dante was suddenly feeling a lot less cool.

"So are you gonna listen to me now?"

"No...screw you!" Dante tried to get up, using his sword as a crutch.

"Alright then..." Kung Lao grabbed Dante and threw him over the ropes and into Ninja Gaiden 2. The black ninjas ignored the man wincing in pain.

The crowd instantly started booing Kung Lao. "What, I thought that was the point of this tournament?"

Nemesis was pounding his bazooka into Leona. "S.T.A.R.S.!" Amaterasu jumped into the ring and started running towards Akuma. "They seriously let a dog into this tournament?" A couple of slashes from Amaterasu's back sent him into the ropes.

/Wesker's Suite, Room 2719\

Balrog showed up into the room with three new faces. "Guys, let me introduce you to Hugo, Poison, and Vega." Vega bowed. "Sorry to make this introduction short, but I have to be getting to the ring. I'm sure you all understand." He walked over and grabbed Juri by the hand. "I'll be certainly making a more formal acquaintance to you, my darling." Vega lifted up his mask and winked. He held a sinister looking smirk long enough for Juri to roll her eyes. Vega somersaulted backwards. "I bid you all adieu." Vega left for the ring.

"Creep." Juri scoffed. Billy Kane walked up to Poison.

"Poison, innit? Ah'm Billy Kane, I'm sure you've heard of me. Geese Howard's loyal second in command."

"Save it, Kane, Poison's not what you think she is."

"Aw, hush, you always have to ruin the surprise." Poison smiled while speaking in a rather deep voice. Billy Kane stepped back. "Uhhh...wait." The gears in Billy's head finally started turning.

"...WHAT?" Poison laughed as Billy ran into the bathroom and washed his face rather thoroughly. "Must...wash off...shame." Raven, another newcomer spoke up. "So where is this Wesker guy anyway? When are we getting paid."

"Wesker's in the ring, beating the ever loving crap out of Phoenix along with another one of our associates, Nemesis." Quan Chi said as he walked in, with Ralf at his side. Billy Kane walked out of the bathroom and held up his staff.

"OI! What's 'e doin' 'ere?" Billy had his staff up to Ralf's jaw. Quan Chi put his hand on Billy's staff and lowered it. "Don't worry, Mr. Jones is under my control."

Billy just shook his head. "I'm surrounded by a bunch of bloody freaks."

"FREEZE!" Everyone instantly jumped up to see Captain America, holding his shield. M.O.D.O.K. yelled, "It's Cap! Kill him!"

"Wait just a second." Quan Chi held up his hand with a smile on his face. Captain America walked into the room, slowly turning into Shang Tsung as he walked. Dr Doom was behind him, laughing.

"You know, forming an alliance with Outworld wasn't such a bad idea." Doom put his hand on Shang Tsung's shoulder. "We could really use this man's talents."

Dormammu stood up. "Can this sorcerer turn into Hulk?" Shang Tsung replied by turning into The Hulk and giving him his best "HULK SMASH!".

"I might have an idea, then..."

/The Ring\

 "PSYCHO BALL!" Athena Asamiya strafed across the ring, shooting off Psycho Balls all over the place, and teleporting whenever she ran into trouble. This was not pleasing Ragna the Bloodegde, who was appalled by her cowardly tactics.

"FOOL! YOU DO NOT FIGHT LIKE A WARRIOR! PREPARE TO SUCCUMB TO MY BLADE!" Ragna lifted his giant sword and prepared to eliminate Athena, but Kung Lao stood in his way.

"Please, stop, I need this woman. There is great danger among us, and I strongly suggest you find another opponent to challenge."

"PISS OFF!" Ragna began slashing at Kung Lao wildly, catching him in an Inferno Divider. The BlazBlue section of the eliminated seating cheered.

"COME ON RAGNA!"

"Kick his ass!"

Much to their disdain, a Multi Kick and a well timed Spin sent Ragna over the ropes and into God of War 2. The Colossus looked at him.

"WHAT, YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME TOO?" The Colossus smashed him like a fly and wiped him on the Parthenon.

While this was happening, Kung Lao explained the situation to Athena. Athena didn't look like she fully understood, but nodded enthusiastically.

"Uh huh, sure I'll help!"

"Good, just let me eliminate you, and-"

"No way! That Ragna guy was right! I need to fight more like a warrior, and challenge somebody head on."

Kung Lao gave her a blank look. "Well, why don't you challenge *that* guy."

"Okay!"

"Hey mister, I'm gonna fight yo-"

"SHIN SHORYUKEN!"

Athena landed in a cave, and three other warriors looked at her. The one with the sword spoke up.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Athena..." Athena rubbed her head. "Athena Asamiya? Famous pop idol? How do you NOT know me?"

Mitsurugi looked at Viola and Gen. "What's a pop idol?"

"Eh kids these days..." Gen stroked his beard. Viola just shrugged.

"Anyway, Athena, what powers do you have? We've been fighting these zombie creatures all day, and we need assistance."

"Well, I can heal..."

"GREAT! Heal the wounded while we fight off the rest of these things. I think I heard somebody call them Drougrs."

"Uhh...okay."

"Oh, and it looks like Athena is the 5th fighter to be sent to Skyrim!" Sven shouted over the intercom. Kung Lao shook his head. "Damnit..."

Vega's stage theme from SF2 stormed through the arena as Vega lifted his claw to the crowd. He claw dived Leona Phoenix, who had been fighting Wesker.

"Good, Vega, help me with Guile!"

"Sorry Bison, I don't work for you anymore. Balrog and I have found a new employer. One that pays a lot more than you."

"WHAT?"

With that, Guile found his opportunity to Flash Explosion Bison out of the ring, and into Gunstar Heroes. Smash Daisaku looked at him. "...Father?"

Leona beforehand, was giving Nemesis the beating of his life. Despite the fact that he was a zombie, and couldn't really feel pain, Leona's attacks had taken a toll on him. But now, Leona was dealing with both Vega and Nemesis.

"*BRRRAAAAH!!! GO AWAAAYYYY!*" Leona screamed with blood pouring out of her mouth. T. Hawk entered the ring in a rather stylish way; by performing an immaculate Mexican Typhoon to Nemesis, sending him crashing down outside of the ropes. He followed that up with a Condor Dive to Vega, and slamming his face into the mat.

"NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!" Vega got up to see Guile standing right above him. Guile grinned. "Remember me?"

"Hey, man I don't work for Bison any moooooo-" Vega was throw into Plants vs Zombies, and watched Nemesis destroy a yard full of pea shooters for a full 15 seconds before passing out.

T. Hawk was now wrestling with Orochi Leona, trying not to get blood all over his clothes. The Native American, despite Leona fighting a giant zombie and a giant four armed Shokan, was the most evenly matched with her out of all of them. That was until she threw an earring grenade at him.

Amaterasu in the meantime, was gnawing on Wesker's leg. "Get the hell off of me, you damn mangey mutt!" Phoenix, now free, flew over to the Kratos/Ezio fight.

"You are dishonorable, you are nothing compared to the nobility of the Auditore family. We have been fighting for many generations, all with a noble cause, and with great execution. We are professionals, unknown to your ruthless type."

"I WILL DO ANYTHING IN BATTLE TO WIN! WHEN I AM FINISHED WITH YOU I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD ON A STAKE, AND PARADE IT AROUND ITALY, WHICH IS WHAT MY GREAT ARMIES WILL INVADE NEXT! THE SPARTAN ARMY CAN NEVER BE STOPPED!"

"Will both of you SHUT UP?" Phoenix transformed into Dark Phoenix. The crowd erupted into cheers as she engulfed both Ezio and Kratos in flames and sent them careening out of the ring with a single powered TK Shot.

They both landed in Civilization 5, on top of a Barbarian village. Kratos pillaged them for 4 gold.

Rain teleported into the ring, surrounded by water and blasted Amaterasu with a stream of boiling hot water. The wolf slashed at him and trapped him in an Okami Shuffle. He was bounced around the ring a couple of times before landed in front of Wesker. "Why hello there..." Wesker grabbed him by the throat and tossed him into Pikmin. He noted the landscape around him. "This reminds me of the beauty of Edenia." However, Edenia isn't invested by giant Bulborbs. To a Bulborb, he was just lunch.

Kung Lao and Guile traded blows while talking. "So yeah, I need your help on the outside. You've lasted a long time, so I doubt you want to voluntary leave, like everyone else here, so whenever you get eliminated..." Kung Lao threw a hat, which was blocked by Guile.

"Report to Guy? No problem." Guile threw a Sonic Boom.

Mu-12 came into the ring. "EXTERMINATE EVERYTHING. 9 TARGETS PRESENT. ELIMINATE."

Mu-12 was instantly caught in a Veil of Mist, cast by Amaterasu, as was Leona, and T. Hawk, fighting in slow motion nearby. Amaterasu sent a piece of paper over Mu-12's head, and ran in for a Head Charge into Leona. Leona was sent out of the ring at the same time Mu-12 was Power Slashed out of the ring.

Both landed in Skyrim, in front of Mitsurugi. And they both lunged at him with murderous intend.

"I think not..." A swift slash decapitated both in one solid motion, and their bodies materialized into the eliminated seating. Fortunately for Leona, her death caused her body to reset into her original state. However, she had a giant headache. "Ugh...where is Ralf?"

Wesker took advantage of the time warp, and with one quick dash, knocked T. Hawk into Red Dead Redemption.

"Eh heh heh...looks like we got an Injun in our town 'ere, boss." One toothless outlaw said to another.

"Well den I think weh should killem!" The other outlaw pulled out his gun.

"I think not..." T. Hawk said, slamming both of their faces together. "Now where can I get a drink?"

The Veil of Mist vanished, and Dark Phoenix was flying around the ring, scoping Wesker, Amaterasu, Guile, Akuma, and Kung Lao.

--------------------------------------------
Results (16 votes)

Akuma (SSF4AE) 14:4 (78%)
Phoenix (UMVC3) 11:5 (69%)
Guile (SSF4AE) 12:7 (63%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 12:7 (63%)
Kung Lao (MK) 10:6 (63%)
Amaterasu (UMVC3) 9:7 (56%)
-------Line of Survival---------
Leona Heidern (KOFXIII) 9:8 (53%)
T. Hawk (SSF4AE) 8:8 (50%)
Vega (SSF4AE) 8:8 (50%)
Nemesis (UMVC3) 8:8 (50%)
Kratos (MK) 8:8 (50%)
Ezio Auditore da Firenza (SC5) 8:8 (50%)
Rain (MK) 7:9 (44%)
Dante (UMVC3) 7:9 (44%)
M. Bison (SSF4AE) 7:10 (41%)
Ragna the Bloodedge (BBCSX) 6:10 (38%)
Athena Asamiya (KOFXIII) 6:10 (38%)
Yoshimitsu (SFxT) 6:11 (33%)
Mu-12 (BBCSX) 2:14 (13%)
Natsu (SC5) 1:15 (6%)

KOs: 2 - Akuma, Phoenix, Guile, Wesker, Kung Lao, Amaterasu 1- Leona, T Hawk

KO Leaders: 7 - Wesker, Guile, 6 - Akuma 3 - Cody, Solid Snake, Leona

Guest Characters Suck! : So far, out of all the guest characters - Solid Snake, Freddy Krueger, Ezio, and Kratos, Solid Snake is the only one to actually do anything in this tournament.

Nobody's a losers...well except for Mu-12 and Natsu: Every character was able to get at least 1/3 of the vote except for Mu-12 and Natsu. Not bad.

Hey...some girls: Two women survived this round. Maybe chicks ain't bad fighters after all, eh?

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Round 4 (Intro)

"So Haggar, we seem to have trouble, and it's about to concern us." Guy led Ryo to the room he had Haggar were sharing.

"Who's ass do I gotta beat?" Haggar had a grin across his giant face.

"Woah woah woah, we're not rushing in yet." Ryo intervened. "We gotta play this smart. Wait until we know exactly what's going on, then hit them when they least expect it."

"How are we supposed to do that?" Guy asked.

"First, what the hell's going on?" Haggar looked confused. Ryo stepped in between them.

"I overheard Rolento and Billy Kane talking." Haggar grabbed his pipe immediately after hearing the word "Rolento".

"That German bastard again?"

 "Well, they were talking about being employed by Albert Wesker. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it sounds bad. Especially if Rolento and Billy Kane are involved. Billy Kane will do anything for a few Pounds, so I don't doubt it's something evil." Ryo turned to Guy. "Billy's not really that bad of a guy, especially now that Geese Howard is dead, but he's still paid muscle at heart."

Guy sat down. "I think we need to get larger numbers. No doubt Wesker's already employed a small army."

"Yeah, that's why I wanted to get King on our side."

"Do you know her number?"

"No, but she's with my sister, I'll call her." He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

/Superdome Shoe Outlet\

"SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES OMIGAWD SO MANY SHOES!" Yuri didn't even notice her phone vibrating.

/Haggar and Guy's Hotel Room\

Ryo sighed. "Nothing."

"Well then." Haggar stood up. "Let's go find some muscle."

/The Ring\

John turned on his microphone.

"I now introduce to you..." John took a deep breath.

"EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZA!" (SC5)

"It took weeks for me to memorize how to say his name correctly."

Ezio strolled down the ring to a huge amount of applause. The hero of the better part of the Assassin's Creed series had been practicing his blade techniques before the fight.

"And another famous face..."

"KRATOS!" (MK)

Kratos slowly strode down to the ring with the chanting of the God of War theme blasting in the background. He didn't care about the contest, or the prize. He just wanted to spill blood, and lots and lots of it.

"You know," said Sven. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Kratos needs to get laid. He's way too serious."

"PHOENIX!" (UMVC3)

"How do you think Phoenix is gonna fare in this fight, John?" Sven asked.

"Too low of a health bar. Won't last a second unless she becomes Dark Phoenix early on."

"NATSU!" (SC5)

"Who?"

John sighed. "ANOTHER NEW SOUL CALIBUR CHARACTER, SVEN."

"NEMESIS!" (UMVC3)

"S.T.A.R.S.! MUST KILL S.T.A.R.S.!"

"Ah, good, Nemesis, I was awaiting your entry."

"WESKER! WE KILL S.T.A.R.S.!"

"Not until Chris or Jill come in, friend."

"DANTE!" (UMVC3)

The crowd cheered as Dante strutted down the walkway. "Aw yeah, the sultan of swag is here! The colossal cool! The smoothest video game character to hit the scene, baby!"

Trish in the eliminated seating sighed. "Ugh, always so full of himself."

"KUNG LAO!" (MK)

Another burst of cheers erupted as the Shaolin monk made his way down to the ring.

Kung Lao was rather confused by the cheers. "Maybe I'm just so awesome I don't even have to do anything to get a fanbase."

"AMATERASU!" (UMVC3)

The Sun Goddess howled as she was greeted with a huge amount of cheers.

"You know what always bugged me about Amaterasu in MvC3? They gave her a butthole."

"...You're weird, Sven." Joe shook his head.

"ATHENA ASAMIYA!" (KOFXIII)

"Hello, adoring fans! When I win this tournament, I will give you all a sneak peek at my new single, Cherry Blossom Love Love Party!"

Kratos quickly turned to the walkway. "Athena? No, that's not Athena, that's just some Japanese school girl."

"RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE!" (BBCSX)

Joe smiled. "BlazBlue could get an elimination here. Ragna is basically Sol Badguy. He's freaking awesome. Not to mention broken as all hell, like, for instance, Sol Badguy."

"VEGA!" (SSF4AE)

The Spanish cage fighter bowed to the crowd before Claw Diving into the ring.

"T. HAWK!" (SSF4AE)

"In my opinion, T. Hawk's one of the more underrated Street Fighters." John said. "Lot of power behind the guy. He could do quite well here."

"RAIN!" (MK)

"Rain too. Definitely one of the cooler Mortal Kombat characters. Just so underrepresented. I mean come on, they included every character up to UMK3 on disc except for Rain, then went like 'Oh shit we forgot Rain' and added him as DLC."

And the final fighter of this round...

"KOS-MOS! I mean..."

"MU-12!" (BBCSX)

John and Sven both laughed.
-------------

VOTE FORM (email to butt_sanchez@yahoo.com)
11. Albert Wesker (UMVC3) Live [ ] Die [ ]
15. Guile (SF4AE) Live [ ] Die [ ]
27. Akuma (SF4AE) Live [ ] Die [ ]
34. Yoshimitsu (SFxT) Live [ ] Die [ ]
38. M. Bison (SF4AE) Live [ ] Die [ ]
47. Leona Heidern (IN OROCHI MODE) (KOFXIII) Live [ ] Die [ ]
49. Ezio Auditore da Firenze (SC5) Live [ ] Die [ ]
50. Kratos (MK) Live [ ] Die [ ]
51. Phoenix (UMVC3) Live [ ] Die [ ]
52. Natsu (SC5) Live [ ] Die [ ]
53. Nemesis (UMVC3) Live [ ] Die [ ]
54. Dante (UMVC3) Live [ ] Die [ ]
55. Kung Lao (MK) Live [ ] Die [ ]
56. Amaterasu (UMVC3) Live [ ] Die [ ]
57. Athena Asamiya (KOFXIII) Live [ ] Die [ ]
58. Ragna the Bloodedge (BBCSX) Live [ ] Die [ ]
59. Vega (SF4AE) Live [ ] Die [ ]
60. T Hawk (SF4AE) Live [ ] Die [ ]
61. Rain (MK) Live [ ] Die [ ]
62. Mu-12 (BBCSX) Live [ ] Die [ ]

10 to live, 10 to die

Round 3 (Results)

Sakura entered the eliminated seating in a huff.  "This sucks, now Ryu's not gonna train me. And those girls in that high school were mean."

Litchi sat where Taokaka, Rachel, Tsubaki, and Valkenhayn were seating. "Well this area's certainly growing in numbers." Rachel snidely remarked.

"YAY! The boobie lady's here!" Taokaka jumped up and down.

Litchi looked distressed. "We've had 5 fighters in, but we've haven't done anything. We need to prove our worth to this audience, or else we're gonna fall into obscurity, like Guilty Gear."

"Jin's coming in soon. He's gotta do something. He is Jin after all." Tsubaki's smile said it all.

"That Cody there is holding his own. I'm surprised. Didn't really think much of the dude when I first saw him." Nova was small-talking with Ryo about the fight since he got into the eliminated seating.

Ryo however, was noticing something was fishy. He hadn't seen Rolento or Noob Saibot since he's been in here. "I'm gonna go get a drink." Ryo walked off to do some investigating.

"Ooh, and Yoshimitsu seems to have impaled Kano!"

"Oi, you stupid bah-stard! I'm gonna gut you an' pull out all yer wiring'!"

"The Yoshimitsu-5000 has a new wireless design. No more untangling chords! No hassle!" Yoshimitsu upslashed Kano up and over the ropes, and on to a beach. As he lay there, out cold, an Argonian drifter looked at his body. Dismissing him as dead, the Argonian shifted through Kano's pockets. Kano's arm sprang up and clutched the lizard-man by the neck.

"Whaddya think yer doin'?"

"OH! I was just-"

"Not good enough." Kano thrust his knife into the Argonian, and threw him aside like a rag doll. He looked around. He was in a harbor town, and it looked pretty run down, even for his preferences. "Where the hell am I?" He saw a familiar face in the distances. "Aye, that's that Mitsurugi fellow...the dickens he doin' 'ere?"

Then Kano remembered something.

"The Skyrim challenge....Stays there entire match....Money....survivor keeps..." His (real) eye lit up. Screw Wesker, this is where the real gold mine is.

/Superdome Shopping Center\

 Something just wasn't right. Ryo could feel sinister intentions were to be had at this tournament. Maybe he was just paranoid. He decided to just sit down and relax and clear his head. He plopped down on a couch in front of some girly clothing store and closed his eyes. Upon opening them he saw King sitting across from him, smiling and holding a half full glass of red wine.

"Hey, stranger." King was still smiling.

"Oh hey, King. What're you doing here?"

"Just accompanying Mai and your sister on their little shopping spree." Ryo looked over to see Yuri and Mai shopping with Benimaru.

"So I've always wondered. Benimaru, is he..."

"Gay? God no, the dude gets laid more than you, Terry, Robert, and Andy combined."

"Then why..."

"He just likes to dress that way. Big into the metrosexual thing. Way before it was considered 'cool'. I mean, the guy's had that same stupid haircut since 1994. Still, nonetheless he's banged about half the girls that have been to the King of Fighters tournaments."

Ryo's eyebrows raised. "Like who?"

King put down her wine glass and started counting on her fingers. "Malin, Vanessa, Athena, Hinako, Kasumi, Vice (worst mistake of his life, as he says), May Lee..." King looked over the Mai and Benimaru, who seemed to be gossiping about something. "...Mai."

Ryo's eyes lit up. "No way..."

"Before Andy, don't worry. Long time ago. Wow, I'm already drunk, I can't believe I just told you that." King laughed. "You didn't hear it from me."

"You really shouldn't be drinking before this fight you know."

King softly kicked his leg. "Lighten up, Captain Serious. I'm near the last in the ring, have some fun once in a while. Plus this wine's making you better looking." King laughed hard enough for Yuri to hear. "King, stop talking to whoever you're talking to and tell me how cute this top is." Yuri ran over to King. "Oh! Ryo!" Yuri walked over and tussled Ryo's hair.

"You can't tell me this top ain't adorable!" Yuri held up a fashionable looking egg white top with some light blue design covering half of it.

"Yes it is very cute, and totally worth the hundred dollar price tag." King said in a monotone voice. "Now go away so I can seduce your brother." Ryo felt a surge of awkwardness go throughout his body.

"Good, now maybe dad can stop complaining about not having any grandchildren yet." Yuri laughed. Ryo slumped in his chair. At this moment he wished he could teleport, far, far away.

Yuri ran off back to her friends. "Beni! King doesn't think this top is cute!"

"Don't listen to King, hun. She has no taste." Benimaru laughed. "Jay-kay, you know I love you King!"

King just ignored him. "You realize we were just joking, right?"

Ryo still wanted to die.

"Really? Wesker's payin' that much?" A conversation in the distance caught Ryo's attention. He looked over to see Billy Kane and Rolento talking. They started walking towards the hotel elevator.

"Not to say you aren't a good looking guy, it's ju- Hey!" Ryo walked away to pursue them. He remembered Rolento from Capcom vs SNK 2, and he knew Billy Kane was always up to no good. The two of them together had to mean something was definitely going on. King called out to Ryo, "Hey, where are you..." Ryo paid her no mind.

"King! You can't tell me THIS isn't the sexiest thing you've ever seen!"

/The Ring\

Edgemaster and Hilde have entered the ring. Edgemaster decided to go after the leader - Wesker - which was a horrible idea. Edgemaster had been in mid-air most of the right. Totally dominated by Wesker's air attacks. Unfortunately for Soul Caliburians, they had no air attacks. A well timed kick in mid-air sent Edgemaster over the ropes and into a battlefield, where guns were being fired from all directions. He decided swords were not a choice weapon to defend himself in this situation, so he hid himself in a barrel.

Hilde, however, was doing a good job at keeping Guile at a formidable distance with her long ranged weapon.

Jin Kisaragi entered the ring, with cheers from the BlazBlue section of the eliminated seating, most notably from Tsubaki. He had chosen to challenge Akuma, another bad idea, and was instantly Shoryukened over the ropes, next to wear Edgemaster was hiding.

However, Call of Duty multiplayer matches were notorious for air strikes.

"Oooh...what a way to go." John called out as both Jin and Edgemaster were blown to smithereens by a missile.

Tsubaki slammed her foot down. "Damnit!"

/Superdome Hotel, Shao Kahn's Room\

Dr Doom had requested permission to meet up with Shao Kahn. He had acquired the information of his whereabouts from Kabal as he was returning to the arena to head to the eliminated seatings. Fortunately for Doom, Kabal was too stoned to think anything of it.

"May I come in, Emperor?" Doom said as he knocked on the hotel door. He was greeted by Baraka, Mileena, and Sheeva. He noted it was a great decision to request an audience with Kahn, rather than storm the hotel room uninvited. His crew looked rather...menacing. Noob and Quan Chi sat on a bed, while Shang Tsung stood next to Shao Kahn, who had brought his throne over from Outworld. Reptile and Skarlet were also in the room, looking ready to pounce on Dr Doom, should he try anything to harm their master.

"Shao Kahn, I come with you with an alliance offer. I am working with Wesker and Magneto, as you may or not know, and we could really your influence, and we shall make it worth your while."

"Oh yeah? How will you do that?"

"You've heard of the prize of this tournament, right?"

"Yes, the power of multidimensional travel."

"Our partner, Albert Wesker seeks that power, and plans to achieve god status, and erect an empire that spans across the entire multi-universe. If all goes according to plan, us, along with you and Outworld, will reign supreme. All will bow to our will, or face a gruesome death. Sounds like something you'd be interested, no?"

Shao Kahn smiled. "I like the way your friend Wesker thinks. I'd be honored to be aligned with a man of such ambition."

"Very good news." Dr Doom was quite happy it had worked out as he planned. "Please join us in Wesker's room for a meeting once he is done dominating that entire ring." Dr Doom left, being lead by Baraka and Kintaro. The door closed behind him.

Shang Tsung turned to Shao Kahn. "This is unlike you, to be working for someone, rather than commandeering the scheme yourself."

"That's just what I want them to think. Once their back is turned, it will not be Albert Wesker who will be calling the shots, it will be I, Shao Kahn to be the holder of this power." Shao Kahn let out a loud, evil laugh. His entire crew followed with their own laughter.

However, Dr Victor Doom was not a stupid man. He anticipated Shao Kahn's imminent betrayal; he had a plan of his own.

/The Ring\

M. Bison had officially entered the ring. Magneto was keeping a close eye on him from the stands. Akuma had teleported over to him and the two engaged in an intense fight.

Goro had also entered into the ring, and Cody and Yoshimitsu had stopped what they were doing to attack the giant Shokan Prince. Cody was instantly grabbed and thrown across the ring. Yoshimitsu just kept catching fireballs to the face. Hilde continued sidestepping Guile's Sonic Booms - one advantage Soul Caliburians had over Street Fighters - and continued attacking from long range. Hilde was suddenly tripped by an Astral Ball from behind, executed by Viola, who had just entered. Guile took advantage of this situation, and ran up to Hilde and performed a Flash Explosion, knocking her out of the ring and into Knights of the Round. He kneeled down and started sobbing. "I've failed..." Lancelot paid no attention to her.

Guile turned around to see something he hadn't noticed before.

Bison. In the ring.

His eyes suddenly filled with the intense flames of rage.

"*BIIIIIISSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOONNNN!*" Guile's body resembled a cheetah, and Bison the gazelle. Guile tackled Bison and to be blunt, was beating the piss out of him with his bare fists.

/Hotel Lobby\

Ryo had seen Billy Kane and Rolento go on an elevator together. He watched the numbers above the elevator until it stopped at floor 27. He got on the next elevator to floor 27. "Hurry up, hurry up!" Ryo was mashing the 27 button as if that would let the elevator know he was in a hurry. 45 seconds later (which seemed like an eternity to Ryo) he was at floor 27. He ran to see if he could catch up to Billy and Rolento, and through the corner of his eye, he saw them enter a door. He quietly tiptoed to see what room number they had entered. 2719. He took a mental note. "2719, 2719, remember this Ryo" he whispered to himself.

"Ja, ve got a new face. Let me introduce my new friend, Mr. Billy Kane."

"'ello, I 'eard you was hoirin'. Hehe..."

Ryo was right. There was something up if somebody was hiring muscle. He tried remembering the name they mentioned earlier. Wesker. Albert Wesker? The man in the ring right now? He headed down to the elevator to find out more.

/The Ring\

"YOU CAN NOT STOP THE MIGHTY GORO!" Goro stomped on Cody's head and threw him into Yoshimitsu. Jade thrust her staff into Goro's back and tossed him down into the mat.

"JADE, WARRIOR OF EDENIA! YOU WORK FOR SHAO KAHN THEN YOU BETRAY HIM ALONG WITH KITANA! YOU MUST DIE!" Goro grabbed Jade and hammered his fists into her skull.

"Yoshimitsu-5000 now comes with 40% more spring in its step!" Yoshimitsu pogo-bounced on his sword on top of Goro.

Jade ran and held her staff over her head. As she jumped up, she found herself suspended in mid-air. A Telekinetic Push sent Jade over the ropes. She landed on a moving train and rolled off. Nathan Drake grabbed her hand and hoisted her back up. "How's it going? You doing anything tonight?" Nathan's smirk was as wide as his head.

"We have eliminated the traitor, Prince Goro." Ermac said as he floated in the air.

"INDEED. NOW LET'S TAKE CARE OF THESE OTHER NUISANCES."

Wesker got a call from Dr. Doom. He retreated to the corner and answered it.

"Sir, Shao Kahn now ours."

"Excellent." Wesker hung up. He then saw a familiar face. "Ah, Trish, the demon, are you joining us today?"

"Why yes I am." She said as she blasted Wesker into the ropes with her electricity.

/Superdome Shopping Center\

"Where the hell did King go?" Ryo scrambled to find her. He bumped into Guy, a face he recognized. "Woah, buddy, you alright?"

"Something is going on, Guy. Rolento and Billy Kane are up to something sinister with a man named Wesker."

"Rolento's involved?" Guy turned serious. "There must be something up then, if he has anything to do with it. Come with me, we need to meet up with Haggar right away."

"But I need to find King!"

"We'll find her later, come with me, I'm sure Haggar would love to hear this."

Ryo sighed. "Okay then."

/The Ring\

"Ralf Jones is HERE!" Ralf called out as he rushed to the ring.

"Dude." Sven turned to John and Joe. "What the hell happened to Ralf's arms, they're like...ginourmous, even for fighting game standards."

"I think him and Clark have been hitting up the steroid department." John smirked.

"They look like they're made of tumors." Joe raised an eyebrow.

One of the security guards burst in. "Guys, we have a problem, we need one of you to come with me, NOW!"

John and Sven looked at each other. "NOSE GOES!" They immediately put their finger on their nose then looked at Joe. "...God dammit, I hate you guys. So much." Joe got up and followed the security guard.

Dan Hibiki jumped into the ring and kicked Ralf in the back. "Piss off, Dan, I got bigger things to deal with." Ralf tossed Dan to the other side of the ring and continued punching Goro. Dan fumed. "Fine, then! I guess I'll fight...you!" He Gadokened the extremely tired Cody over the ropes and into The Suffering. He did not fare too well against hellspawn without a gun.

Viola was throwing her Astral Ball all around the ring, hitting Guile, Akuma, and Ermac with it multiple times. Akuma was especially agitated by this, and teleported over to her, kicking her into the air.

"THE OTHER REALM AWAITS!"

"Holy crap, the Demon Armageddon!" John was really excited to finally see Akuma perform this move.

/Riften\

"Ah, good, Viola, you're here. We could use a mage. A man told us we could be in his secret club if we shake down some of these villagers for rent money. Then maybe we could figure out how to get out of here." Viola was extremely surprised to see Mitsurugi.

Kano in the distance, just watched.

/Superdome Security Offices\

"Alright, what do you dickbutts want?" Joe was rather annoyed, and it showed.

"Sir, Jax and Sonya says that Rolento and Balrog have run off with some of the guns from the security armory."

"Yeah, we tried to stop them, but we failed. I apologize." Jax had his head hung low.

"Those guns aren't even real. Seeya." Joe turned abruptly and walked away.

"Um...sir are you sure?"

"Yeah, probably. Now leave me alone, I wanna watch the freaking fight."

"Uhhh...." The head of security was at a loss.

"I guess we have to take matters into our own hands. Of course." Sonya angrily stormed off. Jax went to follow her but a security guard of African-American descent stopped him. "Hey man, I gotta ask you...you tapping that?"

Jax's eyebrow raised. "No, we're a professional partnership, it would be out of line."

"Nigga the fuck is wrong with you?"

/The Ring\

Cervantes entered the ring. The undead pirate immediately picked a fight with Ermac. On the other side of the ring, Wesker was having his way with Trish. "I'm sorry, missy, you're good, but not nearly enough of a match for me." Wesker kicked her into Dissidia: Final Fantasy. With her giant sword, she almost fit right in. Her outfit wasn't quite ridiculous enough, however.

Soon afterwards, Cervantes dug his two swords into Ermac's chest and tossed him over the ropes. Ermac landed in Psychonauts. Dogen quickly ran away. "AH! IT'S THE LAKE MONSTER!" Ermac got up dazed and got decimated with a plethora and psychokinetic blasts.

Cervantes laughed. "You really think your telekinetic powers could defeat me?!"

"Well I'm pretty sure Psycho Power could." Cervantes turned around to see M. Bison's fist, full of Psycho energy. He landed in Secret of Monkey Island in front of Guybrush Threepwood.

"Take this!" Guybrush shouted as he sprayed Cervantes with root beer. After it was apparent that it had no effect on Cervantes, Guybrush ran away screaming, possibly urinating himself.

Leona Heidern got into the ring and immediately started helping Ralf take down Goro. Joe, around this time had entered the booth.

"So, what happened?" Sven asked.

"Eh, just some stupid bullcrap I didn't feel like dealing with."

"Alright, I'll take your word for it." The subject was then immediately dropped.

Bison went to continue his fight with Guile, but Dan stood in his way. "You work with Sagat right?"

"Yes, now get out of my way."

"Sagat is the one who killed my father!"

"Well, if he made you, he must have deserved to die."

Dan, enraged, Shoryukened Bison, but he was grabbed, and tossed casually over the side. "I don't have time to deal with you, I have a pressing matter to take care of." Dan landed in NBA Jam. To pass the time, he decided to challenge Gerald Wallace to a game of one-on-one. Dan lost 84-6.

She-Hulk entered the ring and stomped around. "SHE-HULK SMASH!" She ran up to Ralf and bonked him on the head. "SHE-HULK SMASH!" She ran up to Guile and bonked him on the head as well. "SHE-HULK SMASH!" She ran up to Yoshimitsu.

"Yoshimitsu-5000 is now 80% more bonk-proof!" An upward sword slash sent her into Sonic the Hedgehog, where she bonked Dr. Robotnik on the head.

Leona turned to Ralf, sweating. "I have an idea to take down Goro..."

"No, please don't."

"Yes, I must activate my Orochi powers. I think I have some control over them now. If I become out of hand, I want you to eliminate me immediately."

"Yes, ma'am." Leona jumped back, and tapped into her inner blood curse. Her hair turned red as she scream in a way that would make any man's skin crawl. Blood pouring from her mouth, she tore into Goro.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Goro was slashed, kicked, and punched further and further into the ropes. One final spin kick sent him into Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, where a car broke his fall.

"D'OH! NOT AGAAAAIN!"

As Leona turned around, Ralf kept his distance. "Are you alright?" Ralf was sent flying into Nuts and Bolts as well, right on top of Goro.

"Oh crap..."

Everyone in the ring stared at Leona as she puked blood (except for Guile and Bison, who were beating the living daylights out of eachother).

"Woah, things just got a lot more interesting..." Wesker commented.

"Yoshimitsu-5000 cleans even the toughest of blood stains!"
---------------------------
Results (18 votes)

M. Bison (SSF4AE) 13:5 (72%)
Yoshimitsu (SFxT) 13:5 (72%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 14:6 (70%)
Akuma (SSF4AE) 13:6 (68%)
Leona Heidern (KOFXIII) 12:6 (67%)
Guile (SSF4AE) 13:7 (65%)
------Line of Survival ------
Cervantes (SC5) 11:7 (61%)
Dan Hibiki (SSF4AE) 11:7 (61%)
Ermac (MK) 10:8 (55%)
Kano (MK) 10:9 (53%
Ralf Jones (KOFXIII) 9:9 (50%)
Cody (SSF4AE) 10:10 (50%)
Goro (MK) 8:10 (44%)
Trish (UMVC3) 7:11 (39%)
Viola (SC5) 6:12 (33%)
She-Hulk (UMVC3) 5:13 (28%)
Jade (MK) 4:14 (22%)
Jin Kisaragi (BBCSX) 4:14 (22%)
Hilde (SC5) 3:15 (17%)
Edgemaster (SC5) 1:17 (6%)

KOs: 2 - Bison, Yoshi, Wesker, Akuma, Leona 1 - Guile, Cervantes, Dan, Ermac

Total KOs Leaders: 5 - Wesker, Guile 4 - Akuma 3 - Cody, Solid Snake

Jobbers: BlazBlue. BB has 6 characters out, and 0 eliminations. Soul Calibur doesn't seem to be that far behind that, especially with this round's horrible showing, with Cervantes being the only exception.

Capcom still: Killing it.

Hey, look a female: Leona so far is the only female to survive a round.

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio
and Nick Torcasio, Professional Grammar Nazi

Friday, March 16, 2012

Round 3 (Intro)


John turned on his mic as he readied the list of the next contestants.

"YOSHIMITSU!" (SFxT)

"Yoshimitsu-5000 here, ready to assist you in your kitchen needs. With 6 stainless steel blades, the Yoshimitsu-5000 is completely dishwasher safe!"

"EDGEMASTER!" (SC5)

A chorus of boos echoed throughout the arena as the veteran swordsman walked down to the ring.

"HILDE!" (SC5)

"Who the hell is Hilde?" Sven asked.

"Didn't you play Soul Calibur 4?" John turned to him.

"Yeah, I played the crap out of it, but I still don't remember who Hilde is."

"JIN KISARAGI!" (BBCSX)

The crowd erupted into screaming teenage girls and marriage proposals.

/Riften\

As Mitsurugi neared the gates of the town, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Maybe we'll figure out where the hell we are now."

/The Ring\

Sven fiddled with some CDs. I know who's coming next.

"M. BISON!" (SF4AE)

~"CALIFORNIA!
UBER ALLES!
CALIFORINIA UBER ALLES!"~

Dead Kennedys blasted through the arena as M. Bison Psycho Crushered Edgemaster into the turnbuckle.

Magneto heard the name echo through the arena. He had to wait to confront M. Bison. For now.

However, Bison had a big problem to face entering that ring. A very angry Guile.

"*BIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOONNNN!"

"Oh shi-"

*wham* *wham* *wham* *wham*

"YOU BASTARD!"

*wham* *wham* *wham* *wham*

"GORO!" (MK)

The huge four arm Shokan jumped into the ring...right onto Hilde.





"VIOLA!" (SC5)

"Who?"

"Another new Soul Calibur character."

"JADE!" (MK)

Jade twirled her staff as she sauntered into the ring. She pulled out a boomerang.

"AHBEHTEHYA!"




"ERMAC!" (MK)

"We are one, we are all, we are the forgotten, we are the deceased, we are the unforgiven, we are but the tormented souls of mortality."

Ermac was really getting into modern goth poetry.

"TRISH!" (UMVC3) 

As Trish entered the arena, wolf whistles came from the front few rows. Trish drew her absurdly long sword. The wolf whistles stopped.

"RALF JONES!" (KOFXIII)

"HA! Got an early draw, but I'm Ralf freaking Jones!" The navy officer jumped into the ring and was instantly Telekinetic Slammed by Ermac.

"DAN HIBIKI!" (SF4AE)

"Dan, the greatest fighter to sweep fictional reality has finally arrived!" Someone in the front row threw a bottle at him.

"CERVANTES!" (SC5)

Fear struck the hearts of all who were in the ring as the ghost pirate with the two giant swords jumped into the ring.

"LEONA HEIDERN!" (KOFXIII)

"Yeah! Leona's here!" Ralf ran over to his teammate.

"Ready to kick some ass Ralf?"

"You bet, missy." Ralf had a grin on his face.

And the final fighter of this section...

"SHE-HULK!" (UMVC3)

The giant green woman dashed to the ring and dropkicked Dan in the legs.

Round 2 (Results)

/Warehouse 2-B\

Balrog ran in for a Dash Punch, but it was blocked by Jax's metal arms. "GOTCHA!" Jax was proving to be a larger challenge than Balrog initially thought. Rolento was running into the same problem with Sonya. All of his baton attacks were being countered by Sonya's cartwheels, and she was too fast for Rolento to counter himself.

"Come on, is the German military really this pathetic?"

Rolento started to have a better idea - running. He rolled backwards into the maze of crates the warehouse created. Sonya ran after him, but eventually Rolento lost her. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.

/The Ring\

Wesker dodged Cody's Criminal Upper and sent him flying with a lauch attack. His phone was ringing and needed to get into a safe area. He decided the corner was a good bet.

"Yeah?"

"Ja, this is Rolento. Ve ran into some interference and ve need a little backup."

"Alright, consider it done." Wesker hung up and dashed to Dormammu. "Rolento and Balrog ran into a problem, I need you to go fix it."

"Screw that, I have the fire of the Gods. I'm winning this thing."

"That wasn't a request." A roundhouse kick sent Dormammu flying out of the ring and into Jolly Roger's Bay from Banjo Tooie. Steam filled the entire town for a full 15 minutes as a result.

The newly entered Kano had his hands around Raiden's neck. "'Ey old friend, how's it hanging?"

Mitsurugi slashed Solid Snake's grenade out of the air. "You really think your explosives are going to have any effect on a former samurai?"

"A samurai?"

Mitsurugi stopped and looked confused. "You really just figured that out?"

Solid Snake took a knee. "Para-Medic, you know all about Japanese stuff, right? What's a samurai?" Mitsurugi was actually astonished. Did this guy really radio his support mid-battle to ask what a samurai was? Out of a mixture of pity, confusion, and that awkward feeling you get when you realize you've been fighting a mentally handicapped person, Mitsurugi decided to walk away. He walked into Gen, who rolled into him and attacked him with an array of flying kicks.

"Well Snake, samurai were noble military soldiers in the Feudal Japan days. Have you ever heard of The Seven Samurai? It's a great film directed by Akira Kurasawa, you should definitely watch it." Para-Medic was going off in one of her usual tangents about films.

"Okay, but how do I kill it?"

"Well, ninjas were covert agents trained to sneak around and kill samurai. They specialized in infiltration and espionage. Hm, kind of like you Snake."

"So, I just have to...be me?"

"Basically. Do whatever you do best."

Snake ended the transmission. "Do what I do best, huh?"

Mitsurugi upward slashed Gen out of the ring. He turned around and found himself looking into a crocodile mask at a Solid Snake wearing zombie face paint and a Santa suit.

"Uhh..."

"Hey Mitsurugi, do you like pythons?"

"...Uhhh, what's..."

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!" Snake threw a Burmese python onto Mitsurugi and shot him in the crotch with tranquilizer darts about 8 times before kicking him over the top ropes.

"She said do what I do best." Snake said, doing an exaggerated shrug, pandering to the audience. The crowd erupted into a giant storm of cheering.

"That was probably the most entertaining 30 seconds of my life." Joe smacked his hand on the desk.

Mitsurugi was woken up in a field next to Gen. "Where are we, old man?"

"I know just as much as you."

Mitsurugi sheathed his katana and started walking. Gen followed close behind.

/Announcer's booth\

"Uh oh." Sven said into his mic. "Looks like Mitsurugi and Gen have entered..." he sounded an alarm. "The Skyrim challenge! Contestants landing in Skyrim will stay there for the rest of the contest, but if they survive, everything they loot will be theirs to keep!" Sven turned off his mic.

"Gen's not surviving." John laughed.

/The Rift\

Mitsurugi and Gen were both walking to nowhere in silence. Mitsurugi saw a figure in the distance.

"Hey, let's see if that guy can help us."

/The Ring\

Kabal and Litchi had entered the ring while all this was going on. Kabal had Spin Dashed into Guile. "Ksshhkt." Kabal dug his crowbars into Guile's shoulders and tossed him to the mat. Guile sprung back up.

"SONIC BOOM!" His Sonic Booms were meeting with Kabal's Gas Blasts.

Litchi had stuck her staff into the ground and was knocking Cody into it. Her air combos were really giving him some trouble. Cody countered with a Criminal Upper as Valkenhayn appeared in the ring.

"Madam, may I assist you in beating up on this common thug?"

"That'd be lovely." Litchi and Valkenhayn proceeded in double teaming Cody.

Wesker flung Freddy Krueger in the air and hit him with an array of kicks and gunshots. Freddy fell in a heap of pain. "That's a nice combo, kid. You have a chance of beating me...in your dreams!" Freddy attacked him with a flying claw.

"Wait, no you don't have a chance of beating me in your dreams, because that's where I specialize. Um, wait.."

Wesker threw Freddy over the ropes and Bullsworth Academy. Freddy got bored and decided to kill some teenagers to pass the time.

/Warehouse 2-B\

Jax quickly learned that Balrog was just as strong as him. As soon as Balrog got Jax's attacks down and knew how to counter them,  he started delivering swift hooks to Jax's face.

"You know, you're a pretty good fighter." Jax backdashed, and started breathing heavily.

"You too, man. Gotta ask you. You banging blondie over there?"

"Excuse me?"

"The bitch. You get in that yet?"

"No, I'm her commanding officer. That would be absurdly unprofessional."

"...What?"

"I mean, we hooked up when we were drunk once but..."

"You mean you're not tapping that? And you've haven't even tried? You a stupid ass nigga." Balrog ran in and dash punched Jax to the ground. "Lights out, motherfucker." An uppercut knocked Jax down for the count. At that monent, Dormammu appeared. "So Wesker wanted me to help, where's the problem?" Balrog pointed over to the maze of boxes, where Sonya was still looking for Rolento.

"Take out the blonde bitch with the big titties, yo." Balrog said as he stomped the unconscious Jax in the crotch. "Yeah stomp ya in da nuts. Yeah bitch ass nigga whatchoo gonna do? Nuttin cuz I knocked you the FUCK OUT!"

/The Ring\

 Up in the booth, John put Danzig on the speakers.

~Am I beast or
Am I human
Am I just like you
Power seething
Really reeling
Reaching out for more
Am I demon
Need to know~

Akuma slowly walked towards the ring a huge amounts of cheers. He jumped in and immediately hurricane kicked Valkenhayn in the back.

"Have some class! How dare you hit a man in the back."

"Alright then." Akuma Shoryukened Valkenhayn in the jaw and over the ropes. He landed in the Living Forest stage in Mortal Kombat where a tree ate him alive.

/The Rift\

Mitsurugi turned his head to Gen, still walking. "The sign says we'll reach a town called Riften soon." Gen said nothing. He wasn't really much of a talker. A Khajit in leather armor approached them. "May I help you?"

"You're not from around these parts are you? See, this is a toll road. Fork up 200 gold or turn around."

"We don't have any gold, see we were in this tournament and-"

"No money? Then die!" The Khajit drew his steel sword. Mitsurugi tossed Gen a sword, thin sword, and separated the Khajit's torso from his legs with one motion of his sword. His buddies soon joined the fight. Gen looked at the sword Mitsurugi threw him and decided this would be better settled with his fists.

/The Ring\

Storm flew into the middle of the ring and held her arms out. "LIGHTNING STORM!" Everyone in the ring was hit by the surge of lightning except for Guile, who was blocking, and Wesker, who had super jumped at just the right time. Kabal got the worst of it and ended up flying out of the ring.

Kabal ended up landing on a patch of grass in front of a shed. A man with thick glasses came out, shocked. "Hey Ricky, a god damn fuckin' spaceman fell out of the sky!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Bubbles?" A man with a pompadour and a patchy goatee stepped out of the shed. "Holy shit, a spaceman." Kabal got up.

"Kssshkt. Where am I? Kssshkt."

"Well, you're in front of my friend Bubbles's shed. We're about to smoke some dope and get drunk. Hey, you got any space weed on you?"

"Space weed? Kssshkt. I'm not from space, there was a fighting tournament and-"

"Holy fuck, Ricky, he's a UFC fighter!"

"Oh fuck yeah, I've always wanted to meet one of you guys. Come into Bubbles's shed and we'll smoke some dope."

Kabal shrugged and decided to go inside.

/Announcer's booth\

John turned to Sven. "Did you really add Trailer Park Boys to the multi-dimensional transporter's dimension base?"

Sven smiled. "Maybe."

Seth entered the ring and was immediately attacked by Guile, Storm, Akuma, Cody, and Raiden. Feeling overwhelmed, he teleported to the other side of the ring and laughed. However, he didn't realize Raiden had teleported behind him.

WHAM!

An uppercut sent Seth into Acid Pool from Mortal Kombat. SSSSSSSSsssss...

Raiden shot lightning into the air to celebrate his 2nd elimination, but unfortunately, Kano was right next to him. Kano punched through Raiden's chest and ripped out his heart.

"Fatality, mate." A roundhouse kick sent Raiden's corpse into The Sims. It was safe to say that that Sim's party was a night to remember.

/The Rift\

Mitsurugi wiped the blood off his blade with a rather pristine silk rag. In the distance he could see a town on the coast of the ocean. He decided to walk there and find out where the hell he was at.

/Warehouse 2-B\

Rolento had lured Sonya where he wanted. He sat on top of a giant stack of boxes, stalking his prey. Sonya looked around. "Where the hell did he go to?" She quickly noticed a tripwire connecting two boxes. "Does he really think I'm that stupid? Come on, this is amateur stuff." She knelt down to disarm the tripwire. Rolento had planned that. In fact, the tripwire wasn't even attached to any trap.

He jumped down and beat Sonya over the head with his baton. She was out cold. Dormammu finally caught up with them. "Where's the girl I was supposed to help you wimps with?" He looked down to see Sonya unconscious.

"Ja, she was pretty cute so ah decided to take her out." Rolento laughed at his own joke. Dormammu didn't.

"Well, boss wants us to grab the guns and leave." Dormammu looked around. "Even if he is a bastard." He said between his teeth.

/The Ring\

Sakura Kasugano had entered the ring to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt 1 by The Flaming Lips.

"Yay! I'm back in this tournament, ready to kick some butt! Then maybe Ryu will take me in as his pupil and I won't have to deal with poopyfaced Dan anymore!" She ran up to Cody. "Hey Cody! You're a meanie so I'm gonna have to eliminate you, okay?" She put up her fists.

"Are you kidding me?" Cody raised an eyebrow. Sakura dove in for a Shoryuken, but Cody blocked it and gave her a Criminal Upper. The shock sent her back into the ropes. A side kick sent Sakura toppling over the ropes and into Persona 4. The other students looked at her. Two girls in the corner were gossiping. "What's with her outfit? Nobody wears those white sailor uniforms anymore." "Yeah, and what's with that headband?"

Litchi ran up to Cody. "Hey, that wasn't very nice! I mean she was just a teenage girl. You didn't have to be that cruel to her." Cody just looked at her.

"You're really rude you know that? You should be more respectful to women."

"Shut up." Cody threw her over the ropes. She landed in an alley Final Fight 2. A group of thugs noticed the scantily clad woman who appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, ain't this one a beaut?"

"Yeah, we're gonna have some fun with you..."

"Not a chance." The next 15 minutes consisted of Litchi beating them within inches of their lives.

Felicia rolled into the ring and started slashing at the strongest contender in the ring, Akuma. "Nyaaahhh I'm too fast for you Mr. Demon!"

Akuma was not amused by Felicia's antics. "It's unwise to challenge me, Darkstalker." A hurricane kick knocked her to the ground.

Guile meanwhile was busy with Storm. He Whirlwinds kept pushing him back, but he was getting closer and closer. Storm readied for a Hailstorm, but Guile dashed under her and Flash Kicked her out of the ring. She landed in Marvel vs Capcom 2. Colossus ran up to greet her. "Hey Storm- woah, what did you do to your hair, it looks...different."

Steve Fox was fresh in the ring jabbing Kano in the chest.

/Mercedes-Benz SuperDome Hotel\

Balrog, Rolento, and Dormammu managed to sneak a hefty load of guns and ammunition back into Wesker's room where M.O.D.O.K., Virgil, Firebrand, Heihachi, Jin Kazama, Kazuya, Juri, Adon, and Kuma were standing around talking. Of course except for Kuma for we all know bears can't talk.

Dormammu silenced the room. "Now, with Wesker in the ring, he's not here to order us. We're about to start executing some plans I had in mind."

"Hey, who the hell put you in charge?" Heihachi hollered.

"Nobody did." Said a voice from behind. The voice belonged to Dr Doom, who walked into the room with Magneto. "Sit down, Dormammu."

"Yes sir." Dormammu slumped into a chair.

"Now." Magneto said. "Being Wesker is gone, we are going to be the ones filling in for him."

"First order of business, recruits." Dr Doom's voice held a volume of nobility. "Balrog, what could we do to recruit your friends at Shadoloo?"

"Well boss." Balrog put down the guns he had smuggled in. "Vega's a possibility. The guy'd do anything for skrilla, man."

"Skrilla?"

"Money, sorry, boss. Sagat's a definite no. The guy's hell bent on destroying Ryu, and he's gonna stand by Bison's side until Ryu's dead."

"Plus,  we don't need that wussy Sagat anyway, everyone knows I'm the best Muay Thai around." Adon chimed in.

"How about the new Street Fighters, Hugo and Poison?"

"They could work. A sleazy pro wrestler and his ex-gang member manager. Most def' a possibility."

Virgil stood up. "Not a lot of Marvel vs Capcomers wanted to join either. Super Skrull hates the Avengers as much as you, Dr but being the Fantastic Four aren't involved, he feels no need to be involved in any trouble involving them, blah blah blah. X-23 went on a "I'm not evil I was just forced into doing evil things" tangent, and Shuma Gorath just doesn't care about "puny human nonsense." Akuma, I don't trust that guy one bit, I didn't even try."

Dr Doom thought for a second. "How about Deadpool and Taskmaster? They're mercenaries."

"They're pretty attached to the idea of fighting for good."

"Damn."

Magneto spoke up. "What about the Soul Caliburs and BlazBlues?"

Firebrand snarked. "Yeah good luck with THOSE looneys."

Jin Kazama agreed. "Ivy's a crazy sadist, Cervantes is even crazier, Astaroth...that's a whole bother ball game with him. Voldo is...well, Voldo, Tira makes no sense half of the time, and Nightmare's a one man squad. He's his own leader. We're better off without them."

Kazuya spoke with his eyes closed, sitting on the best in a meditative position. "The BlazBlue fighters don't want to be involved at all. They feel they lucked out on being invited to this rumble, and don't really wanna ruin their reputations by being involved in something shady."

"We need Kano in here." Dr Doom spoke. "We knows more about Shao Kahn than any of us do. Most of the recruitable Mortal Kombatants are extremely loyal to Shao Kahn. We might have to take him down. That or persuade his followers."

"Yes, but for now that is irrelevant. I'll take care of M. Bison for now. Balrog, you pay Vega and Hugo a visit." Magneto looked at his group. "Any questions?"

M.O.D.O.K. spoke up. "Yeah when do we get paid?" Magneto Disrupter Blasted him into the wall. "You'll get paid when the jobs done and we have the power of multi-dimensional travel. Do I make myself clear, M.O.D.O.K.?"

"Crystal."

Dr. Doom turned to the silent one in the room. "Juri, you've haven't said anything. You have anything to add?"

"I care not for the politics of this plan. I just wanna do my job, get paid, and get the hell out of here."

Dr. Doom was taken aback. "I like you, you have the qualities of a great key component in this operation."

M.O.D.O.K. was visibly angry. "Hey, she talks back to you and you compliment her, I say-"

"Magneto, please."

Magneto gave M.O.D.O.K. another Disruptor Blast. M.O.D.O.K. stopped talking, for now.

/The Ring\

Hakan slid into the ring and belly flopped onto Steve Fox. "Ho ho ha! Now you know the might of Turkish oil wrestlers!" A powerful uppercut to Hakan's jaw sent him flying into Halo, where he was run over by a Spartan on a banshee.

Felicia (eliminated thanks to Akuma) landed on top on the banshee. She quickly hopped off and scurried to safety.

Steve Fox felt like he was on a roll, so he rushed over to eliminate Guile. He bumped into Kano on the way. "Where d'ya think yer goin'?" An enhanced forward roll sent Steve Fox into Punch-Out.

"Hey, kid glad you're here, our scheduled fighter, Glass Joe's a no-show. Get your gloves laced and go in."

"..What?"

"You think YOU can take on King Hippo?" A booming voice said from the boxing ring.

"Try me, tubby."

The resulting assbeating left a lot of Vegas bookies happy and a lot of gamblers unhappy.

Guile weaved back and forth avoiding Snake's grenades. One Flash Kick later, and Solid Snake ended up in Splinter Cell Conviction, where he and Sam Fisher traded espionage stories over a bottle of scotch.

"Wow folks, looks like these fighters are going down like bowling pins. Only 5 left, and it looks like the third batch of fighters are making their way to the ring." Sven said into his intercom.
===========================================================
 Results: (15 votes)


Akuma (SF4AE) 12:3 (80%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 12:4 (75%)
Guile (SF4AE) 11:5 (69%)
Cody (SF4AE) 11:5 (69%)
Kano (MK) 10:5 (67%)
-----------Line of Survival---------------
Solid Snake (SSBB) 10:6 (63%)
Steve Fox (SFxT) 9:6 (60%)
Storm (UMVC3) 9:6 (60%)
Mitsurugi (SC5) 9:7 (57%)
Raiden (MK) 9:7 (57%)
Felicia (UMVC3) 7:8 (47%)
Freddy Krueger 7:8 (47%)
Sakura (SF4AE) 6:9 (40%)
Litchi Faye-Ling (BBCSX) 5:10 (33%)
Kabal (MK) 5:10 (33%)
Dormammu (UMVC3) 5:11 (31%)
Hakan (SF4AE) 4:11 (27%)
Gen (SF4AE) 4:11 (27%)
Seth (SF4AE) 3:12 (20%)
Valkenhayn R. Hellsing (BBCSX) 2:13 (13%)

BONUS MATCH:
Balrog (SF4AE) and Rolento (SFxT)
beat
Jax and Sonya Blade (MK)
6 to 5 with 4 abstentions

KOs: 2 - Akuma, Wesker, Guile, Cody, Kano 1 - Snake, Steve, Storm, Mitsurugi, Raiden

KO leaders: 4 - Guile 3 - Wesker, Cody, Snake

Flash in the pan award: Dormammu, who after landing 2nd place last round barely getting any votes this round

Capcom's domination, not only in games, but votes: Capcom took the 4 top spots, and have earned a total of 12 KOs so far.

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Round 2 (Intro)

"This has been going great so far, huh?" Sven said to John and Joe.

"Yeah, lots of awesome fights, and seeing where everyone turns up is usually hilarious." John leaned back in his chair.

/Warehouse 2-B\

"Alright then, Kano says we just grab these boxes and take 'em to Wesker's room." Balrog opened one of the boxes with a crowbar. "Sweet, merciful Jesus." He said as he took out an M-16.

"Ja, this is some real deal, military grade shit." Rolento said as he took the rifle. "'aven't seen one ov these babies since my time in the German special units."

Rolento emptied out the magazine to reveal that they were unloaded. "There's got to be ammo here somewhere..."

"Hold it right there!" said a female voice from right outside the hole they created to get in. "Sonya Blade, special forces, I'm taking you guys in."

"Oh yeah, toots?" Balrog stood up. "You and what back up?"

"This back up, sucka." Jax appeared behind her.

"Ja, this is gonna be fun..." Rolento readied his baton.

/The Ring\

Raiden was electrocuting Cody as the next names were called.

"KANO!" (MK)

Kano walked down into the ring twirling his knives in his hands. "Aye, who do ah get to cut up first?"

"GEN!" (SF4AE)

Gen tiptoed down to the ring in a mantis position. "Hoo hoo hoo, all these youngsters are going down!"

"KABAL!" (MK)

Kabal dashed to the ring, and littered it with Gas Blasts and Buzzsaws immediately upon arrival.

"LITCHI FAYE-LING!" (BBCSX)

"HEY LOOK!" Taokaka called from the stands. "IT'S THE BOOBY LADY!" Litchi covered her breasts and walked into the ring with her head hung low.

"VALKENHAYN R. HELLSING!" (BBCSX)

"Miss Alucard...I will avenge you!" Valkenhayn called out as he ran into the ring.

"FREDDY KRUEGER!" (MK)

"Watch out, kiddies! Freddy's gonna getcha! Hahahaha!" Freddy said as he wiggled his fingers in the air.

"AKUMA!" (SF4AE)

The crowd burst into cheers as the demon himself, Akuma walked into the ring. He proved his worth by throwing a dark Shinkuu Hadouken into Freddy's spine.

"STORM!" (UMVC3)

As Storm flew to the ring, Solid Snake and Guile both had their face in their palms.

"Great, another person who can control wind."

"Great, another person who can fly."

"SETH!" (SF4AE)

Seth thought that being a freakishly powerful being would give him an advantage. He really didn't take into account that Guile, Cody, and Akuma would all be ganging up on him at once.

"SAKURA!" (SF4AE) 

"What do you think Sakura's chance of survival is in this ring?" John turned to Sven.

"Well, she was really powerful in Alpha and the Vs series, but ever since 4 she's been kinda...slacking. She's not nearly as strong as she used to be, and I think she'll have some trouble against some of these other contestants."

"FELICIA!" (UMVC3)

"Meow! It's time for a cat fight!" Felicia said as she bounced into the ring.

"STEVE FOX!" (SFxT)

"Hoo yeah, I'm the best boxer there is, baby!"

And finally...

"HAKAN!" (SF4AE)

"Hoo hoo hoo hoo!" Hakan said as he poured oil over himself.

"Hakan is probably the worst Street Fighter character ever." said Sven. John turned to him.

"What makes you say that?"

"Yeah, Hakan's pretty cool."

"Dude, just look at him."

John looked over to see Hakan rubbing oil all over his chest.

"I see your point..."