Saturday, April 28, 2012

Round 8 (Intro)

/Sub-Basement\

"Now, Ryo, what was that room number?" Rose sat at a chair while Ryo lay in a half-sleep, Guy resting in the corner.

"It was...14.Floor 14." Ryo said in a mumble.

"Yes, floor 14. Now, the room number, Ryo. Come on, remember." Rose voice was monotone, yet assertive.

"Billy and Rolento. I saw them around the corner, entering it."

"Yes, Ryo, remember." Rose waved her scarf along the outside perimeter of Ryo's head.

"Room...room..."

"Yes?"

"14. Room 14... Room...1428." Ryo's eyes instantly opened.

"That's it! Room 1428! That has to be it!"

"Are you sure?" Rose asked.

"Yes!" Ryo jumped up and grabbed Guy. "Get up, Guy, so much work to do!"

"Huh?" Guy was being dragged down the hallway again.

/Super Dom Hotel Lobby\

"Once we get there Haggar will explain the entire situation to you two. Probably a lot better than I can." Kung Lao explained to Chun Li and Jill.

"Yeah, whatever, when do I start kicking Wesker's face into the ground?" Jill scoffed.

"Yeah, that's the thing. The recruits really have nothing to do right now. It's me, Ryo, and Guy who's doing all the work at the moment. Best to keep a low profile, know what I mean?"

"Great, so we're all gonna be crammed into a small hotel room until we get called out to battle?" Chun Li rolled her eyes.

"...Basically." Kung Lao suddenly stopped to see a lance almost impale him through the skull and plant into the wall. "What the-" He got punched in the face by Ralf's giant fist as Chun Li and Jill were both attacked by Hilde and Leona. Chun Li Lightning Kicked Leona away from her. "Guess we have to deal with these idiots first."

/The Ring\

"DEE JAY!" (SSF4AE)

Loud reggae music blasted throughout the arena as Dee Jay danced down to the ring, shaking a pair of maracas.

"Ay now everybuddy jam!" The ring was getting a lot more groovy with Dee Jay around.

"VERGIL!" (UMVC3)

"Well the Devil May Cryers have had a pretty mediocre showing this rumble, you think Vergil will be any different?" Sven asked out loud.

"Probably not. I'm not sure why they even added him in Ultimate." Dusk said.

"MAXIMA!" (KOFXIII)

"One of those snoozer KOFers in my opinion. He's been with K' since 99, and has been in almost every game since then, but I still don't know a damn thing about him." Sven said.

"HSIEN-KO!" (UMVC3)

"Who the hell is Hsien-Ko anyway? Just another crappy Capcom character they decided to add in last minute." Joe remarked.

"You shut your whore mouth, Joe. Hsien-Ko is one of the best Darkstalkers and it's about damn time she got a spot on a crossover roster. I never thought it would happen, because Hsien-Ko's not all that popular compared to Morrigan, Felicia, or Demitri, but it did, and I'm damn happy." Sven took a sip of his beer. "Fuckin' Anakaris got a roster spot before she did..."

"Why the hell hasn't Jon Talbain been in any yet?" John commented, making a rather good point.

"ROBERT GARCIA!" (KOFXIII)

In all honesty, does anyone give a crap about Robert? No? Didn't think so.

"MARSHALL LAW!" (SFxT)

"Oh hey look a generic Bruce Lee clone." Sven said as he whirled his finger into the air.

"You're wrong, Sven. Law and Bruce Lee look completely different. I mean, Law has a mustache." Dusk made a valid point.

John grabbed the microphone. "Now two fighters lucky enough to nab a draw one after another...

CYRAX AND SEKTOR!" (MK)

Every single fighter in the ring groaned as the area became filled with bombs, buzzsaws, nets, homing missiles, skyward missiles, and regular missiles while they still had to deal with teleports from both of them.

"Honestly, I think Cyrax and Sektor are both very well suited for this rumble." John commented.

"X-23!" (UMVC3)

"Or as I like to call her, Wolverine with tits!" Sven laughed.

"What do you call Marrow then?" John asked. Sven looked at him.

"Let me correct myself. Wolverine with tits 2!"

"ROSE!" (SSF4AE)

"It's a shame she's really annoying to use. Not a lot of games have a badass fortune teller who fights with a scarf. I'd like to main her one of these days. She just needs to fix that moveset." Sven said.

"CHRIS REDFIELD!" (UMVC3)

"Oh crap." said Joe.

"Oh crap." said Dusk.

"Oh crap." said Wesker.

"LILI ROCHEFORT!" (SFxT)

"Oh thank you, Namco, we did need more spoiled rich girls who didn't belong in fighting games in our fighting games."

"You're just talking all kinds of shit today, Sven." John remarked.

"It's my job."

"I know that all too well, anyway, another pair of lucky fighters called out together,

SHANG TSUNG AND SHAO KAHN!" (MK)

"God damn." said almost everybody in the ring.

Well, at least there's no BlazBlue or SC5 this round...

Round 7 (Results)

/Sub-Basement\

Ryo and Guy started the fight off by immediately teaming up on MODOK, and evading Adon's attacks when they could. Ryo and Guy juggled MODOK back and forth with kicks. To finish him off, Ryo dove in with a Hien Shippukyaku, but before he could land the karate chop, MODOK blasted him with a Psionic Blaster, knocking him into the wall.

"HA! You really think you could take me out that easily?" MODOK says as he jetted upwards. "Why yes I do." Guy jumped up and delivered a Kaiten Izuna Otoshi, piledriving MODOK into the cement floor. MODOK got up, dazed, in front of Ryo, who drew his fist back. "SHIN TENCHIHAHOUKEN!" MODOK flew backwards about 30 feet and landed with a sick thud that knocked him out cold. Adon realized MODOK wasn't returning to fight with him.

"That's fine, I'll have fun taking both of you out myself." Adon charged in with his elbow drawn back. Ryo threw a punch, which Adon anticipated. Catching his punch and grabbing his arm, Adon performed a series of powerful knees to Ryo's abdomen. Guy ran to Hozanto the Muay Thai King, but Adon swept his leg, and threw Ryo over his back by his arm onto Guy.

Guy pushed the dazed Ryo off of him and ran in and punched at Adon, all of them he dodged. Guy followed up with a mid section kick, but it was caught by Adon. He pulled Guy's leg under his arm and delivered an elbow drop to his knee. He then knocked Guy in the chest with another elbow, and kicked him in the side of his head, then finally threw him into the wall.

Ryo got up and pulled his arms back. "HOU-" "JAGUAR TOOTH!" Adon went to Jaguar Tooth over Ryo's Houhken, thus taking the bait. "KOHO!" An uppercut sent Adon topping backwards. Ryo took this opportunity to rush in and punch him a couple of times in the face. The first two hit their targets, but upon the third, Adon dodged right and caught Ryo in a headlock, and delivered some knees into his face. A Rising Jaguar sent Ryo flying into Guy.

Ryo and Guy got up and caught their breath. "New tactic?" suggested Guy.

"I would have to say so. Attacking him head on at once isn't working right now. We have to stop attacking him on the same side. You rush in, and I'll get behind him."

"Come on, you girls done talking? Had enough of a champion yet?" Adon's signature grin was showing.

"Aye aye, captain." Guy ran in, but as expected, was hit with an elbow, along with some punches. Ryo ran in behind him and axehandled Adon in the back of the head, causing him to stagger a bit.

"Oh, an attack on both sides now? I can handle that." Adon started hitting Ryo with a series of elbows and back kicked Guy in the jaw after noticing he was running towards him. "HOUHKEN!" Adon was caught in the face with a fireball as he turned back to Ryo. Taken aback, Adon rushed in and Jaguar Kneed Ryo into the wall. He turned around to see a very angry Guy. This did not phase Adon. "JAGUAR AVALANCHE!" Guy now laid unconscious on the ground. He turned around to elbow Ryo, who in turn, slid underneath Adon's legs. Before Ryo could get back up, Adon jumped on Ryo's shoulders and started hitting him in the back of the head with elbow drops.

He then dismounted the dazed Ryo and comboed him with a series of knees and elbows, knocking him back.

"Alright punk, time to finish you off now. JAGUAR KN-"

"HOUHKEN!" Adon's EX Jaguar Knee failed to connect, and he instead stumbled and laid his back into the wall. "SHIN TENCHI HAHOUKEN!" this gave Ryo the opportunity to perform his Super Desperation Move. Adon crawled along the floor as Ryo gave him a final punch that knocked him out cold. He carried Guy over his shoulder and ran down the hallway, leaving Adon and MODOK behind.

MODOK finally got up saw an unconscious Adon and no Guy or Ryo, and said to himself, "Okay, maybe we DO need Wesker..."

/The Ring\

Jill was making mince meat out of Wesker with her kicks. Wesker tried his best to block her legs while trying to conserve his energy. Being this was nearing his 90 minute mark in the ring, managing fatigue was a large factor for staying in the ring.

"Your reign ends here!" Jill jumped up and fired her machineguns wildly at Wesker, who managed to dodge every bullet. Wesker jumped up into the air and grabbed her by the legs.

"PATHETIC!" he tossed her into Macho Man, who effectively elbow dropped her. Abel tripped Macho Man and tossed him to the ground.

"First rule of fighting - never take your eyes off of your opponent."

"FIRST RULE OF LIFE! NEVER PICK A FIGHT WITH MACHO MAN RAAAANDY SAVAGE!" Macho Man tossed Abel up into the air, and slammed him onto his knee. Smoke took this opportunity to approach Jill. "Hey sweet thing, why don't me and you ditch this fight and grab some dinner, eh?" Jill replied with a very angry somersault to Smoke's chin. He collided with the mat and slid back a couple of feet.

"Are you okay?" Smoke opened his eyes to see up Makoto's miniskirt, and a good ammount of her underboob. "Feeling great, now, actually." Makoto grabbed Smoke by the shoulders and lifted him back on his feet in one swift motion. Smoke was quite surprised by her strength.

"So, we're supposed to fight now, right?" Makoto lifted her tonfas.

"Well, we don't have to fight. We could just, you know, talk. Hang out a bit."

"That doesn't sound like what Tsubaki told me. She says this ring is where people fight." Makoto had an endearing, almost impossibly cute smile.

"Well then maybe later after the fight we could have dinner." Smoke winked and pointed a finger gun at her.

"What for?" Makoto tilted her head sideways.

"You know, to get to know each other a bit."

"Why?"

Smoke was getting a little frustrated. "I don't know, to become friends?" Makoto's face lit up. "Friends! I love making friends! You could help me gather nuts for the winter!"

"Sure." Smoke shifted his eyes awkwardly.

"But now, let's fight!" Makoto charged in and beat him down with her tonfas in a bubbly, cheerful way. Smoke did not expect this.

/SuperDome Hotel, Dr. Doom's Suite\

"Cage is secure, sir." Rolento said to Doom, making sure he stood up straight. Doom nodded. In the center of the room sat a large, metal cage. The cage had been molded together by various pieces of silverware, faucets, and other scraps of metal gathered by Magneto, welded by Dormammu's flames. Surrounding the cage stood turrets pointed at the openings between the metal bars. The guns seemed futuristic in style, and were connected to their own generators.

"Balrog."

"Yes, boss?"

"Punch that cage as hard as you can." Balrog complied, and delivered a Dashing Uppercut to the cage. "Nothing."

"Excellent." A smile formed beneath Doom's mask.

"Should I test the guns, boss?"

"Yeah, if you want radiation poisoning. I built those myself, I know they work. These have enough gamma energy stored in them to destroy a small town and leave no survivors. Which is why we need to take necessary precautions when dealing with them. When activated, this door will slam down." Doom tapped on a giant metal sheet which separated the room from the rest of the suite. "And we can see what's going on through the windows and cameras without causing any harm to our bodies."

Doom walked over to the other room where Shang Tsung, Shao Kahn, Dormammu, Vergil, and Jin Kazama resided. Raven and Nina Williams were at a table, both typing rapidly on a laptop keyboard. "Nina, Raven, have you  hacked into the multidimensional portals yet?"

"Just about, sir. I've already decoded the encryption key. Now we just need to re-code the data banks so that Hulk lands in the cage." Raven said while still tapping.

"Most excellent. Once we have Bruce Banner, that is where you will come in, Shang Tsung. Being you are scheduled to enter soon, once you have left the ring, I need you to transform into Hulk, and infiltrate the Avengers, and keep them off our trail. We can't have them sniffing around here."

Shang Tsung nodded his head.

"Are we all clear on the plan?"

"Clear."

Doom turned to Dormammu. "This was a fantastic plan, and you will be rewarded for your endeavors later. For now, we work."

Doom turned and exited the room, leaving them to finish their duties.

/The Ring\

"KIKOKEN!" Juri blocked Chun Li's fireball and dove in with a Shikusen, followed by a Senpusha. Chun Li slid back and stood on her hands. "SPINNING BIRD KICK!" The heels of Chun Li's boots hit Juri repeatedly in the cheek. Juri brushed her off with a projectile. "So that's how you wanna play, huh?" Juri said as she spit blood onto the canvas.

Meanwhile, Jill had Wesker in a triangle choke hold. Wesker remained his composure while trying to pry Jill's legs from his neck.

"You are going to die in this ring, Wesker. No elimination, I am going to kill you once and for all." Jill's hold still remained stable.

"That's...what...you...THINK!" Wesker slammed Jill head first into the turnbuckle, and releasing him from her choke. Wesker reached his arm back. "Now..." Wesker was hit in the back of the head by a flying shield. He turned around to see Captain America, catching his shield.

"Picking on a lady? That's rather rude, why don't you fight someone your own gender?" Cap stood in his fighting stance.

"Why you..."

"CHARGING STAR!" Wesker was now dealing with both Jill and Captain America.

"OHHH YEEEE!" Macho Man said as he delivered a front dropkick to Samurai Jack's head. He tossed the samurai over his shoulder. "YOU CANNOT DEFEAT MACHO MAN RAAAANDY SAVAGE!" Samurai Jack got up and started slashing wildly at Randy Savage, and knocking him into the air with an upwards thrust. As Randy Savage was falling back to the mat, he elbow dropped Samurai Jack onto the ground.

Nearby, Scorpion teleport punched Abel and uppercutted him. Abel stood right back up, and heel kicked the ninja. A kunai was thrust into his chest. "GET OVER HEEERRRE!" Scorpion dragged Abel into him and uppercutted him out of the ring. He landed in FIFA 12, in the middle of a match between England and Ireland. As he staggered up, he was mistaken for a soccer (or football, if you're European) player and was headbutted in the face by Wayne Rooney. "Take dat, ya Irish wanker!"

Captain America treated Wesker like he did all evil he encountered...by grabbing him by the shirt and repeatedly punching him in the face. Despite his effort, he was Hell Axled in the back of the head by Heihachi. Heihachi was then slammed into the floor by an overhead smash by Hulk. Jill repeatedly kicked Wesker in the side.

"Jill, please step aside, I can handle this." Captain America said as he threw Wesker to the mat.

"Like hell. I am not gonna sit idly while you take care of Wesker. He's mine, and I'm gonna kill hi-" A kunai was suddenly planted into Jill's chest.

"GET OVER HERRRREEE!" Jill was dragged into Scorpion's uppercut and she landed in the training stage of Marvel vs Capcom 3. She looked around and scratched her head.

Hulk was giving Heihachi hell. His overhead smash almost slammed Heihachi through the mat. He got up and gave Hulk a Chrome Dome. Heihachi scoped out the ring for someone to assist him.

"JURI! Come here and help us fight these guys!" Heihachi roared.

"I've got problems of my own!" Juri blocked a Kikosho and hit Chun Li with a Senpusha. Chun Li hit Juri with a Lightning Kick and an open palm strike to her chest. Juri stagged towards the ropes. A roundhouse kick was enough to knock Juri over them. She ended up in the training stage of Marvel vs Capcom 3, where Jill ended up. They both looked at each other in confusion.

"The hell?" Sven commented.

"Yeah isn't this thing supposed to decide where the funniest place to land would be?" John added.

"Usually yes. Maybe just a glitch in the system."

Chun Li ran to assist Hulk in beating up on Heihachi, but was stopped in her tracks by a woman screaming in her face. Sindel wrapped her hair around Chun Li's body and slammed her down onto the mat. Guile, who had been resting in the corner for some time, decided to assist Chun Li by Flash Kicking Sindel in the jaw.

"INSOLENT FOOL! You will all bow down to master Shao Kahn!" Sindel went to Frontflip Kick Guile, but her boot was caught by Chun Li. "SONIC BOOM!" Guile hit Sindel with a Sonic Boom and backhanded her into the ropes. A Flash Explosion knocked her backwards into the training stage of Marvel vs Capcom 3, where she joined Jill and Juri in their common feelings of confusion.

Smoke approached the newly entered Mature, being Makoto had been distracted by Samurai Jack. "Well hello there, good looking. How's about me and you ditch this fight and go get ourselves a drink."

"Hmm, I think I'd enjoy that very much." Mature smiled rather coyly. Smoke, who was used to constant rejection (commonly accompanied with a slap, or a face full of pepper spray), was taken aback by Mature. "Really? You mean it?"

Mature laughed. "Yeah, me and Vice really could use a man around."

"Vice? Who's that, your roommate?"

"I guess you could say that. We're partners with similar interests." Mature smirked.

"Oh hoh..." Smoke started to get a little antsy. This was the best day of his life, he though. "What interests would those be?"

Mature adjusted her glove. "Mixing pain with pleasure."

"Wha-za-what now?" Smoke was no longer antsy.

"Oh, we like to be hurt, real bad. But we like dishing it a lot more than taking it." Mature said as she gently ran her fingers down Smoke's abdomen. "You'd be a perfect addition to our slave pit." This was no longer the best day of Smoke's life.

"Uhh..." Smoke decided instead of talking his way out of this, he would instead Teleport Punch Mature, and then run away screaming. "AAAHHH!!!"

Mature got up and smiled. "Oooh baby, do that again." She immediately ran after him. "Don't be such a tease, hun."

Heihachi was not a happy man. He was being triple teamed by Hulk, Guile, and Chun Li. He was keeping Guile at bay with powerful punches, and Hulk with the occasional Dragon Uppercut that would incapacitate him for enough time to block everyone else's moves. Chun Li hit Heihachi with a Spinning Bird Kick. Her final kick was caught by Heihachi, and he threw her into the air. He finished her off with a Dragon Uppercut that sent her spinning in mid air, up and over the ropes and into the training stage of Marvel vs Capcom 3.

"What the hell is going on?" Sven said as he quickly tapped away at his keyboard.

/Superdome Hotel, Dr. Doom's Suite\

"What the hell is going on?" Dormammu bellowed as the flames that engulfed his head become more intense.

"I don't know, sir. Must be a bug in the system, or maybe we messed up some coding, or-" Raven scrambled to figure out the problem and tapped away rapidly.

"Well you damn well better fix it, because if we don't have Hulk here when he's eliminated, it will be your head that's in that cage. YOU HEAR ME?" Dormammu's flames became even more intense.

"Yes, I'll have it fixed in 5 minutes!"

"Make that four." Nina corrected Raven.

"Make it three, or you're all dead!" Dormammu threw a chair into the wall to get his point across.

"Yes, sir!" Raven said as he continued typing.

/The Ring\

"Makoto!" Smoke called out as he dashed towards Makoto. "Oh, hello new friend, what can I assist you with?" Makoto had forgotten that she was in the middle of a fight with Samurai Jack. Jack took this opportunity to upwards slash Makoto out of the ring.

"Ah! Makoto!" Smoke jumped on Samurai Jack's head. "I gotta get out of here!" Smoke took a swan dive over the ropes and landed in the training stage of Marvel vs Capcom 3. He got up to see five women staring directly at him. In his daze, he didn't realize what was going on. "Am I in heaven?" Smoke sat down. "Alright, which one of you lucky ladies wants to be the first to sit on the love making machine's lap?"

"Excuse me?" Juri lifted her leg into her fighting stance.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Jill took out her machine gun.

"I think this man has a death wish." Chun Li cracked her knuckles.

"Oh no, my new friend is a pervert." Makoto readied her tonfas.

"WORTHLESS PUNY HUMAN MALE!" Sindel floated into the air.

Smoke had now just realized what he said. "Uhhh..ladies, please." Smoke put his hands up. "I'm sure this is all just a big misunderstanding."

Suddenly, Mature fell from the sky (eliminated by Macho Man's Atomic Drop, which was accompanied by an "OOHH YEEE GET SOME!"). He got up to find herself in the middle of the room, a bunch of pissed off looking girls on one side, and on the other, "Oh, hello again, lover."

"AHH! NOOO!" There was really nowhere to run, however.

Heihachi headbutted Guile to the other side of the ring and kicked Hulk into the turnbuckle. He ran over to Captain America to Dragon Uppercut him out of the right, but fell in a heap with electric currents running through his body.

"TASTE THE MIGHTY HAMMER OF THOR!" Heihachi was slammed into the mat by Thor's hammer upon sitting up.

Guile was currently dodging Macho Man's elbows and punches. "Guile, Guile whatchoo gun' do? Whatchoo gun' do when Macho Man runs wild on you? Oooh yeee." Guile hit Macho Man with a Sonic Boom, but he ate the hit, and charged in and grabbed Guile and suplexed him to the mat.

"Gettin' tired already, oooh yee you can't compare to the might of Macho Maaayyyun Randy Savage!" Guile angrily Flash Kicked the air in front of Macho Man, and he was grabbed and tossed into the air. "AWWW YEEEE!" Randy Savage jumped up, grabbed Guile and slammed down to the mat, giving Guile an atomic backbreaker. The force of the move sent Guile flying back up into the air. He retained his composure. He was gonna land back into the mat if he angled himself correctly. However, Macho Man was in mid air, right next to him.

"AWWW YEEE THE DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!" Macho Man's fists connected with Guile's face. He jetted down to the outside of the ring like a fireball. The crowd stood up in an uproarious applause and started chanting Randy Savage's name as Guile passed through the field.

Guile landed in Contra. He dodged the large red bullets and punched a football player in the face. He then retreated into the water and waited it out.

"Okay, it seems to be working fine now." Sven remarked.

"Yeah, what was up with that?" Dusk said, scratching his head.

"Bug in the system. Hopefully it won't happen again."

/Super Dome Hotel, Dr. Doom's Suite\

"Viola! I've fixed it!" Raven stood up and raised his arms in the air.

"No, I fixed it. It wasn't the code, it was an error with the directory." Ninja snidely remarked.

"Well, who gives a damn who did it, it's fixed ain't it? Set it to land Hulk in the cage. NOW!" Dormammu shouted as he intensely watched the fight from a television.

Carl Clover was already in the ring at this point and was juggling Scorpion in the air with a combination of attacks from both him and his marionette. Frank West jumped into the ring soon afterwards and cracked a baseball bat over Macho Man Randy Savage's head. The bat shattered into pieces, but Macho Man seemed hardly phased.

"I'LL ADMIT FOR A PROP BAT THAT DID KIND OF HURT BUT IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO BRING DOWN MACHO MAAAAN RANDY SAVAGE BROTHER!"

"Uhh..." Frank West was grabbed and tossed around like a rag doll, slamming into the mat.

/Eliminated Seating\

Chun Li, Makoto Nanaya, Mature, Jill Valentine, Sindel, Juri, and of course Smoke landed all at once, in a big pile, near the eliminated seating. Jill pushed Makoto's unconscious body off of her. "Get the hell off of me, you damn furry!" Chun Li straightened her fighting garb and marched up the stairs.

"Now to settle this whole Wesker business." She said outloud.

"Wesker?" Jill's attention was caught, and she ran up to Chun Li. "What do you mean you have business with Wesker?"

"Not with Wesker, but against him. Kung Lao told me all about this whole evil plot involving him."

"Pfft, I should have known Wesker would be trying to run a little scheme during this tournament. I'm in. Let me follow you wherever you're going."

"Leave it to a man like Wesker to have the power to run an entire organization while still in the ring." Chun Li scoffed.

"Yeah, a perfect cover. This is just like him. Let's go." Jill turned and stopped as Kung Lao was right in front of them. "Follow me to the rendezvous, ladies. Quick, we can't arouse to much suspicion."

Unfortunately for them, the loud cheers of the crowd wasn't enough of a cover to avoid having Sindel eavesdrop on the entire conversation. She achieved mental contact with Shao Kahn.

"Lord Shao Kahn. It appears there's a group of heroes working against us. Kung Lao seems to be their leader. He's taking two powerful warriors to their rendezvous."

"I see. I'll have it taken care of." Shao Kahn contacted Quan Chi mentally. "Quan Chi, have your slaves do a little bit of dirty work for me."

/The Ring\

All three Avengers in the ring were now beating the ever living crap out of Wesker and Heihachi. Thor took turns beating on both Wesker and Heihachi with his hammer and electricity. Thor suddenly was blindsided by a giant green man-like creature, and was punched into the ropes.

"*I AM THE GOD OF FIGHTING. YOUR NORSE POWERS HAVE NO CHANCE AGAINST ME!*"

Thor dashed back and drove towards Ogre with a flying kick, but was caught with a Hell Inferno and tossed to the other side of the ring. At this time, Heihachi performed a Rajin's Wrath on Hulk, which sent him flying on top of Thor and Captain America, who was thrown over to where Thor was by Wesker.

Frank West was growing tired of his fight with Macho Man. His weapons were all breaking against Randy Savage's seemingly inhuman girth. "Alright, steroid boy, what do you have to say about this?"

Frank West pulled out a foam Servbot head from his jacket and slammed it down on Macho Man's head. Macho Man clotheslined Frank West over towards Wesker and stumbled around a bit, rather comically.

Thor got up and shook his head. "By Odin, these men are more powerful than we thought." Thor said, panting.

"Yes, but we are the Avengers. We have a powerful secret weapon in our arsenal."

"And that is, Cap?"

Captain America looked at Thor and Hulk and nodded. Thor immediately knew what Cap was talking about and nodded as well, as did Hulk.

"AVENGERS! ASSEMBLE!" Captain America called out their battle cry as they activated their Triple Hyper Combo.

At the same time, Carl Clover was uppercutted behind Heihachi by Scorpion.

"MIGHTY THUNDER!"

"GAMMA TSUNAMI!"

"HYPER CHARGING STAR!"

Half the ring became a giant blur of light flashes, electricity, and giant rocks. The crowd cheered at the spectacle as Heihachi, Wesker, Ogre, Carl Clover, and Frank West were being completely obliterated by the Triple Hyper Combo. Ogre and Carl Clover were hit with the Hyper Charging Star, Heihachi and Frank West with the Mighty Thunder, and Wesker the Gamma Tsunami. All five men were launched out of the ring.

Killer7 was now home to the charred remains of Heihachi, Ogre, Carl, and Frank. To Keven Smith, this weirdness was nothing to write home about.

"I see everyone except Wesker inside the screen." Sven remarked.

"Yeah, what the hell?" Joe looked puzzled. He turned up to see the crowd chanting Wesker's name, but he was nowhere to be found in the ring.

"ON THE SIDE! ON THE SIDE!" The camera panned to reveal Wesker clinging onto the side of the ring for dear life, which was displayed on the jumbotron. Hulk went over to the side of the ring and looked down.

Big mistake. Wesker grabbed Hulk in a headscissor and vaulted him over the ropes.

/Super Dome Hotel, Dr. Doom's Suite\

"NOW!" Dormammu cried out. Raven struck a key and a sound was heard, signalling that Hulk had landed in the cage. The metal door slammed shut as Hulk's cried of pain could be heard. Hulk writhed in pain as the gamma ray blasters fired everything they had at him.

Dormammu turned the security camera on to see Bruce Banner wincing in pain, on the floor of the cage in fetal position. Dr. Doom burst through the hotel room door and smiled. Dormammu smiled back.

"I take it was a success?" Doom said.

"Yes, sir. It worked as you planned. Hulk is now Bruce Banner."

"Excellent." Doom grabbed the microphone, and his face was displayed on the monitor for Bruce to see.

"Hell Bruce, long time no see..."

/Sub-Basement\

Guy had woken up and been up on his feet, with a little assistance from Ryo. They got into where Rose told them to meet with them at, and took a seat inside.

"I've been waiting." Rose was sitting at a fortune teller test, shuffling a deck of tarot cards. "What happened to you guys?"

"Adon and MODOK...ambushed us." Ryo panted.

Rose was empathetic to say the least, or at least appeared to be. "I see. Now, let's get that information out of your skull. Lay down and let me hypnotize you."

"Hypnotize?"

"Yes, now let's waste no time. The quicker we do this the quicker we can stop Bison."

/The Ring\

As Wesker climbed into the right, his entire face was covered in blood and his sunglasses were shattered. His eyes glowed with a shade of red nobody had ever seen before.

"I...CANNOT...DIE!" The entire crowd was on their feet, as was everybody in the announcer's booth.

"Wesker has done the impossible, folks! He has survived a full 90 minutes in this ring! What a fighter!" John shouted into the microphone.

"Honestly, at this point, I don't care who wins. Wesker, in my eyes, is the winner of this rumble. No doubt about it. The man's a champion for surviving that." Sven said.

Captain America gulped as a very angry Albert Wesker dove towards him with a murderous intent.
-----------------------------------------------
Results (18 Votes):
Scorpion (MK) 14:5 (74%)
Thor (UMVC3) 13:5  (72%)
Captain America (UMVC3) 12:6 (67%)
Samurai Jack (CNPTE) 12:7 (63%)
Macho Man Randy Savage (WWEAS) 12:7 (63%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 14:10 (58%)
-----Line of Elimination-----
Heihachi Mishima (SFxT) 10:8 (56%)
Chun Li (SSF4AE) 10:9 (53%)
Guile (SSF4AE) 12:12 (50%)
Hulk (UMVC3) 9:10 (47%)
Ogre (SFxT) 8:10 (44%)
Smoke (MK) 8:10 (44%)
Frank West (UMVC3) 7:11 (39%)
Mature (KOFXIII) 7:11 (39%)
Jill Valentine (UMVC3) 7:12 (37%)
Sindel (MK) 6:12 (33%)
Abel (SSF4AE) 6:12 (33%)
Juri (SSF4AE) 5:13 (28%)
Carl Clover (BBCSX) 4:14 (22%)
Makoto Nanaya (BBCSX) 2:16 (11%)

BONUS MATCH:
Ryo Sakazaki and Guy
beat
M.O.D.O.K. and Adon
7 to 6 with 5 abstentions


KOs: 2 - Scorpion, Thor, Cap, Jack, Savage 1 - Wesker, Heihachi, Chun, Guile

KO leaders: Guile 11, Wesker 10, Akuma 7, Kung Lao 4, Macho Man 4, Scorpion 4, Samurai Jack 4

KOs by Game:
Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition: 27
Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3: 25
Mortal Kombat: 14
King of Fighters XIII: 8
Street Fighter x Tekken: 5
Soul Calibur 5: 3
BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend: 0
Mystery Contestants: 13

Voter quotes:
Macho Man Randy Savage - DIE: "Randy Savage isn't really the type of guy to live these days."
Damn dawg, that's cold

On the Ryo and Guy vs Adon and MODOK fight:
"Suddenly comes Randy Savage. He axehandles Adon into oblivion. He screams "OOOHH YEAH. AIN'T NO FIGHT HAPPENIN' ON MY WATCH WITHOUT MACHO MAN RRAAAANDY SAVAGE!" Then he starts shitting all over Guy. Then he bends over Ryo and starts raping the shit out of him. And Ryo starts growing boobs because Savage is sapping all his manhood. Then Savage Elbow Drops him into the center of the earth. The end. Of the story."
Um, wow, thanks for that. I'll have fun sleeping tonight.

"I would've voted Adon if it were literally anyone else with him, but being it was MODOK, I must give my vote to Ryo and Guy."
Maybe making MODOK a villain in this story will ultimately hurt them...

Pulling a Wesker: Wesker, literally. Who just refuses to go down.

Capcom taking a fall: This is the first time none of the Capcom character in the ring took a spot in the top 5, and they lost all their fighters except Wesker this round.

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
Matt "Dusk" Williams
John Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Round 7 (Intro)

/Sub-Basement\

"Rose should be around here somewhere. I just wish I knew EXACTLY where she was. I'm tired of walking. We've been walking all day." Ryo said as he traveled down the long corridor with Guy.

"Well buddy, I did offer you a pair of shoes...walking barefoot can't be good for you."

"I've haven't worn shoes in 20 years. My feet are basically like a hobbit's now."

"Hey, there's someone in the distance...it may be Rose. Except it's with something with the largest head I've ever seen." Guy ran up and got blasted with a Psionic Blaster.

"AH! The first plebeians to get in our way!" M.O.D.O.K. shouted. Ryo ran up and hit M.O.D.O.K. with a Hoahken, and got Jaguar Toothed by Adon.

Guy got up and wiped his face. "Looks like we gotta get through these guys first..."

/The Ring\

"ABEL!" (SSF4AE)

The French wrestler ran into the ring and was instantly confronted by Macho Man.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE A BETTER WRESTLER'an ME OOOH YEEE?" Abel rolled behind Randy Savage and Tornado Threw him into the ground.

"THAT WAS A GOOD TRICK OOO YEEE BUT I DOUBT YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN!" Abel rolled behind him and Tornado Threw him to the ground once more.

"OKAY I GET YOUR POINT." Abel rolled behind him and Tornado Threw him to the ground again.

"Okay...that's getting annoying, brutha."

"SMOKE!" (MK)

"Where there's smoke, there's fire!" The crowd instantly booed as he Teleport Punched Samurai Jack twice.

"MAKOTO NANAYA!" (BBCSX)

Seriously, BlazBlue? Seriously?

"JURI!" (SSF4AE)

Juri cartwheeled into the ring and Senpushaed Chun Li. She smiled and beat down Chun some more with her kicks.

"CAPTAIN AMERICA!" (UMVC3)

As he entered the ring to giant amounts of cheers, he and Hulk Charging Star/Gamma Crushed Wesker in the back.

"HEIHACHI MISHIMA!" (SFxT)

Heihachi entered the ring and instantly went for Hulk.

"SINDEL!" (MK)

The Queen of Outworld laughed as she flew around the ring, hitting Makoto and Abel with projectiles.

"MATURE!" (KOFXIII)

Mature, sporting a new sexy eyepatch, ran into the ring and into Smoke. "Hey babe, what's with the eyepatch?"

"Let me show you..."

Smoke never saw it coming. He entire body surged with red energy.

"THOR!" (UMVC3)

The crowd erupted into cheers as Captain America, Thor, and Hulk laid waste to the entire ring.

"CARL CLOVER!" (BBCSX)

"See." Dusk said. "This is another reason why BlazBlue can't get any KOs." He then saw Carl get followed by a giant doll. "On second thought, hm..."

"FRANK WEST!" (UMVC3)

"I've covered wars, you know!" Frank West gave a thumbs up. The crowd collectively groaned.

"OGRE!" (SFxT)

Heihachi joined Ogre's side and got a new positive outlook on his fight with the Avengers.

Round 6 (Results)

 /Hallway\

"Thanks for helping me, Hilde. I need to find Ralf, I have no idea where he could possibly be."

"No problem, Leona. I'm already eliminated, might as well help out somebody in need." Hilde was her regular good-natured self, but Leona was worried, something she rarely is.

"This is weird though. I could've sworn we were walking around the food court just a second ago. When did we turn into a dark hallway?" Quan Chi appeared before them. "Hello ladies."

/Superdome Hotel, Haggar and Guy's Room\

 "So, what, we just stay in here while they find more fighters to join our group?" Sagat crossed his arms.

"That's the plan." Rose was looking through her crystal ball, attempting to locate Bison.

"That, and Guy instructed me to keep a close eye on you." Haggar held his lead pipe in his hands. "Just in case you try any funny business."

"I assure you I have no ill intentions."

"This ain't right, I should be out fighting evil, not staying here all cooped up." Kim was anxiously pacing around the hotel room.

"Damn, I got nothing." Rose deactivated her crystal ball. "This Wesker guy we're dealing with is smart. Wherever they're all hiding out, they have a magical spell encasing the area to make it undetectable by supernatural means."

Sagat looked at her. "English, please?"

"They're off the radar, they've gone stealth. I can't track them. I'm going to have to wait until Bison leaves the area effected by the spell for me to be able to locate him. Once that happens, we'll have our lead."

Haggar nodded.

"However, like I said, these guys are smart. Best idea would not to let me be seen with our group. It might arouse suspicion, and if that happens, we'll never get anywhere."

"Didn't Ryo say he saw Billy Kane and Rolento go into their hideout?" Haggar asked.

"Yes. However," Rose sighed. "The idiot forgot the hotel room number."

Kim chimed in. "Couldn't you hypnotize him into remembering the room number? Like, tap into his subconscious memory?"

"That I can do." Rose packed up her fortune teller equipment. "However, I can't be seen with him. We don't know who's working for Wesker, and we can't risk being seen together. I'm leaving now, it's for the best. Next time you see Ryo, tell him to meet me in the sub basement. I'll be waiting for him." With that, Rose left the room.

Kim looked at Haggar and smiled. "I like her." Haggar remained staring at Sagat, who was staring right back at him.

/The Ring\

"So like, what the hell are you supposed to be?" Deadpool scratched his head with one of his pistols.

"I am Xiba! Son of Kilik and Xianghua of the Ming Empire!" Xiba proudly thrust his staff into the ground.

"No, I mean *what* are you supposed to be? You look like some Son Goku nightmare."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Xiba said as he took out a steamed bun and started chowing down.

"That too! You eat a lot! You're Son Goku. Your character design team ran out of ideas, decided to just make a Son Goku character and call it a day. You even have a fucking tail!" Deadpool grabbed his tail, which Xiba slapped out of his hand. "Hey, don't touch that!"

"I don't understand you! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! How do you have a tail when you're the son of Kilik and Xianghua. Last time I checked, they didn't have tails! I don't even care if it's real or not, don't even tell me because the level of care I have regarding anything about your design is abysmal. Just...get away from me, you're infecting me with your dense deposits of suck." Deadpool stormed off, muttering swears.

"Well, he was an odd fellow." Xiba continued eating his roll.

Raphael joined in on the fight between Kenshiro and Wesker. "You two seem like the strongest men in this ring! Ha! Come at me, and we shall fence like gentlemen!" While Raphael was surely dressed like a badass, he didn't act the part - he was French after all.

"Piss off." Wesker Teleport Dashed him into Dee Jay's stage in Street Fighter 2, where a local passed him a drink. "Drink up mon, it's a party!" Raphael sniffed the drink, shrugged, and knocked it down the hatch.

Kung Lao continued his barrage of Hat Throws and quick punches to Kyo. "Had enough yet? Ready to be eliminated and help the cause?" Kyo replied with a Shiki Oniyaki.

Guile was fighting Xiba when he felt arms make their way around his midsection and slam him to the mat.

"OO YEEE! The German Suplex brutha, you ready to git down wit the Macho Man Randy Savage?" The crowd cheered.

A rapid fire fist caught Wesker in the chin. Kenshiro dodged his next Teleport Dash and continued hitting him with a barrage of rapid fire flying fists. "You're quite the formidable foe. I will enjoy eliminating you."

"You're way too confident." Wesker launched him up into the air and hit him with a combination of kicks and punches.

"We'll see."

/Superdome Hotel, Wesker's Room\

"I brought more friends." Quan Chi said as he entered, with Leona and Hilde following him, with the same white eyed zombified expression Ralf in the corner of the room had.

"You keep bringing these scrubs in, none of these fighters can ever match to the might of M.O.D.O.K.!"

"Shut up, M.O.D.O.K.." Magneto instructed him. "Make yourself useful. Go out into the sub basement with Adon, and stash these guns. We'll need them for act 3 of the plan."

"Aye aye, boss." M.O.D.O.K. floated away with Adon following him. He didn't want to travel with him, at all, but hey, Magneto's orders and direct orders from Wesker. Adon just had to suck it up.

/Hallway\

"Alright, who's next?" Guy wondered about Ryo's agenda.

"Well, first, I gotta find my sister." Ryo dialed a number. Yuri picked up.

"HEEEEYYYYYYY! 'Sup Raiyooooo"

"Yuri? Where are you?"

"I'm at the baaaaar with my friiiiends why?" Yuri was obviously pretty drunk.

"Stay there, I'm coming." Ryo hung up the phone and punched the wall. "DAMNIT!"

"What happened?"

"She's at the bar."

"That's great! Let's go get her."

"No, it's not great." Ryo turned to Guy. "You don't know my sister and alcohol."

/ The Ring\

Kenshi dodged Hat Throws and Sonic Booms and continued his telekenetic assault on both Guile and Kung Lao. He was getting hit by the hats more often than he'd liked. Sonic Booms were easy to dodge for a blind man - they were loud. Kung Lao's hats, however, not so much. In any simple 1 on 1 fight, he would have easily been able to hear them, just the arena was just so distracting.

Kenshi had a savior though, Kyo was very much hellbent on settling his new rivalry with Kung Lao, and took him out of the fight with a Shiki Oniyaki. Kung Lao and Kyo traded blows at Chun Li entered. Kung Lao backdashed and motioned for Kyo to "chill out". "Chun Li? We need your assistance in some pressing matters outside of the ring."

/Superdome Superbar\

"RYOOO! YOU CAAAAME!" Yuri jumped into Ryo as soon as he came in the vicinity and gave him a hug. King approached him, as Ryo was noticeably very irritated.

"Ryo, I'm sorry, Beni dragged us here, and I tried making sure Yuri didn't drink much, but..." King held her head low. "I'm sorry."

"It's whatever. Yuri, you're going back to the room and sleeping this off, you're in the ring in an hour."

"RYO!" Yuri threw her hands up in the air. "I never get to have fun with my friends, stop being a party pooper!" Yuri turned back to the bar, but tripped and fell into a stool. "Owww..." King and Mai immediately came to her aid.

"Yeah, I think it's time for Yuri to go to bed." Mai turned to King.

"Couldn't agree more." Ryo hoisted Yuri up and carried her on his back out of the bar.

"Aww, big mister serious Ryo's taking Yuri-chan away..." Ryo ignored him.

Guy followed Ryo out of the bar.

"Ryo, I'm sorry..." King looked as if her heart had been broken. She wiped the tears forming before anyone could see her.

/The Ring\

Kung Lao had finished telling Chun Li about the plot. "So, what you need me on the outside for this?"

"Yeah, we were hoping you'd voluntarily eliminate yourself and join Ryo."

"Why do I have to? Why don't you one of you do it?"

Kyo chimed in. "I'm not going without a fight, it's just my nature."

"A fight? Alright then. KIKOSHO!" Kung Lao and Kyo were both caught in her Kikosho and were sent flying out of the ring.

"Who do you think I am, a naive little girl?"

"WEESKEERRRR!!! YOU'RE DEAD!" Jill entered the ring, firing everything she had at Wesker. Wesker fell in a head of pain. "Kenshiro, it's been nice, but I think we might have to postpone this fight. Something just came up."

"WESKER! Get ready to die! Get the HELL out of my way!" Jill punted Xiba over the ropes. He landed on top of Kung Lao and Kyo.

"Ho! More comrades to join our party!" Mitsurugi thrust his sword in the air.

Kyo got up. "Hey Kung, mind if I borrow your hat?" Kyo cut his own throat open and materialized into the eliminated seating. Kung Lao followed him.

Viola stared blankly at where Kyo and Kung Lao's bodies had disappeared from. "Well that was just...weird."

"Quite." Mitsurugi stroked his chin. "Well, Xiba, come along with us."

"Okee dokee! Got any food?"

"Oooh, you have a tail, like a kitty cat! I used to have a kitty cat named Mr Muffles, but my manager said cats weren't 'in' anymore so we had to put him down."

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Samurai Jack entered and approached a very depressed looking Deadpool. "What's wrong? You seem down."

"That guy Xiba who was in the ring...it's just, there's no creative integrity in the world anymore, everything's just a rip off off of a rip off off of a rip off. That Son Goku guy...he really bummed me out man." Deadpool sighed. "Just eliminate me, I'm done. I need a drink."

"Um..alright." Samurai Jack threw Deadpool out of the ring. He landed in Samurai Shodown 2, where Gen-An ran up to him. "HEY! THIS GEN-AN'S HOUSE YOU GO AWAY NOW!" Deadpool apathetically put a bullet in the goblin's head and sighed.

"COMMERE SAMURAI OH YEEE!" Randy Savage delivered a powerbomb to Samurai Jack that was executed while jumping ten feet into the air. Yun traveled across the ring with a single handspring and kicked Randy Savage in the chin. "CLOTHESLINE AW YEEEE!" Randy Savage sent Yun flying across the ring. Wesker caught him a couple time on the way there with a Phantom Dance. Yun collapsed, groaning.

"GET OVER HERRRRRE!" Scorpion caught Yun with a spear and dragged him into a roundhouse kick. He blocked Kenshi's oncoming slash and uppercutted him to the other side of the ring. Scorpion set Yun on fire and Teleport Punched him into a combo. A slash from his swords sent Yun bouncing off the mat, which was followed by another Teleport Punch, a spear, and then finally a Leg Takedown. Yun stumbled around the ring for a bit after that.

/Superdome Hotel, Guy and Haggar's Room\

Ryo burst in with no warning into the room, Guy following him and Yuri on his back. "Woah, what happened here?" Haggar asked. Sagat showed concern, and got out of his chair. Haggar shot a look that would pierce the soul at Sagat, and he hesitantly sat back down.

"Don't worry about it, just my sister's drunk, she's gonna sleep it off." Ryo said rather angrily. Guy stayed back with Haggar as Ryo gently dropped Yuri on Haggar's bed.

"Ryo...I'm sorry." Yuri said in a slightly slurred, low voice.

Ryo sighed, rather agitated. His tone of voice showed it. "Just...be more responsible. Like, seriously come on. You're lucky dad isn't here right now. He'd lecture you a lot more than I am doing." Ryo did his best imitation of Takuma's stern and serious voice. "Yuri, you should be acting like a lady! Yuri, stop this and settle down with Robert and have a family." Yuri rolled her eyes and turned over to her side, facing away from Ryo.

"I thought King would be more responsible. You're my little sister, and I trust you with King because she's smart, and usually doesn't let you do stupid things like this." Yuri sat up, her face bright red with anger.

"Oh, stop talking to me like I'm still a kid! I'm an adult and I can make my own *hic* decisions! I don't need a fricken babysitter!" Hearing Yuri yell took Ryo down a few pegs.

Ryo sighed heavily while pinching the skin between his eyes, and looked down. He sat down on the bed, at Yuri's feet, and said in a much calmer voice, "You're right. It's not King's fault, but still. Just think next time, please."

Yuri laid back down and took a sip of out the water bottle Ryo handed to her. "Yeah, you're right." Yuri let out a belch and drank more water. "Getting drunk before a fight was a really stupid idea." Yuri turned back around and smiled.

"But appletinis are soooo goooood!" Yuri said with a big smile on her face.

Ryo let out a small laugh. "Yeah, you just need to know your limit."

"I know my limit!" Yuri said as she violently turned to Ryo.

"Obviously you don't." Ryo pushed Yuri's hair out of her face. "Now get some sleep. Haggar's gonna look after you." He brought a waste bin over to the bed. "Here's if you need to hurl, and I'll have room service bring over some bread. We all need you sober for the fight." Ryo smiled and gave her a thumbs up. "You can win this and you know it."

Yuri laughed. "Thanks. That's really nice of you." Yuri turned over. "You're still a jerk though."

"Alright then." Ryo laughed as he walked over and opened the door. "Go to sleep."

 Ryo closed the door behind him.

"Sorry bud, couldn't help but overhear that." Haggar scratched the back of his head. "I'll take care of her." Ryo nodded, and headed for the door. Guy followed him. The two engaged in a rather awkward silence.

"OH!" Haggar stopped them. "Almost forgot, message from Rose."

/The Ring\

"GAMMA CRUUUSH!" Hulk shoulder slammed into Macho Man's chest. "You wanna know something Hulkster? You may have joined up with The Avengers and won the Tag Team title, but lemme tell you something, brother, oh man, lemme tell you something. You ain't the one who won KING OF THE RING 1987 AWW YEEEEE!" Macho Man dropkicked Hulk in the jaw. Randy Savage's years of substance abuse had caused parts of his memory in the WWF to be entwined with his childhood spent reading comic books.

"And if you remember correctly, brother, I defeated 'Iron Fist' Jim Duggan and Jake 'The Ant Man' Roberts at Summerslam 1988. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it AWWW YEEE!"

Phoenix Wright and Shen Woo exchanged blows back and forth. Shen Woo lunged forward with a punch that sent Phoenix sliding backwards. "MAYA!" Shen Woo blocked Maya diving towards him. "Hey, buddy, that's cheating! She isn't in the tournament, and she's helping you in the ring!"

"Maya's my assistant. She always assists me in battles."

"Yeah, but having two fighters on the same draw is an unfair advantage. I object!"

"Is that an OBJECTION?" Phoenix initiated his hyper combo and two podiums rose from the ring. Phoenix slammed his palms down and pointed at Shen Woo.

"You say assist characters are an unfair advantage in this tournament, but what do you have to say about the Soul Caliburians or the BlazBluers, who use weapons? What to you have to say about the Mortal Kombatants, who come equipped with X-Ray moves and Fatalities that can easily incapacitate other competitors? Or the fighters from the Marvel universe who have superpowers?" Everybody in the ring stopped as Phoenix Wright made a solid case for himself.

"Uhhh." Shen Woo was sweating profusely.

"How about Wesker, Jill, Chris, Dante, and Deadpool, who use firearms during combat? How about Rachel Alucard and Carl Clover who use various creatures and a dummy, respectively, to aid them in battle? How about the warrior Kung Lao, who has a seemingly endless supply of hats that magically appear on his head? Would you not say those are also unfair advantages?"

"Well..." Shen Woo shifted his eyes.

"As I suspected, you have no reply. There is nothing unfair about me using Maya to assist me in this fight, your argument is invalid, and your objection is..." Phoenix Wright took a deep breath to say the final word of his case. "IN-"

"SHUT UP AND GET OVER HEERRRRRE!" A spear plunged through Phoenix Wright's chest and he was uppercutted over the ropes and into Animal Crossing, where he participated in The People of Buttville v. Tom Nook, which resulted in Tom Nook being incarcerated for first degree fraud for 5 to 10 years. Maya, feeling like she had no further use, jumped out of the ring after him. Unfortunately, she landed in the giant lake from Resident Evil 4. Lake monsters apparently don't take kindly to spirit mediums.

Shen Woo let out a huge sigh of relief. From now on, he was going to keep his mouth shut, and just fight. Upon coming to that conclusion, he didn't notice Guile sneaking up behind him. "FLASH KICK!" Shen Woo landed in Tapper, where they didn't take kindly to people in pink shirts.

Bang Shishigami entered the ring, carrying his huge...nail in his arms. He immediately picked a fight with Samurai Jack, who was not amused with his choice in weaponry.

"A nail...really?"

"YES! THIS NAIL IS A MEMENTO OF MY MASTER, TENJOU, WHO WAS SLAIN BY THE WORTHLESS COWARD JIN KISARAGI (WHO I HATE SO VERY VERY MUCH AND WOULD BEAT HIS FACE IN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE) AND HAS BECOME THE STAPLE IN MY ART OF SPECIALIZED NINJITSU!"

Samurai Jack's jaw swung wide open. "You're a ninja?"

"YES! THE VERY BEST THERE IS!"

"Yes, I'm sure. Ninjas specialize in stealth, right?"

"YES THEY DO! YOUR POINT, GOOD SIR?"

"50-inch long nails-"

"55-INCH LONG NAILS!"

"...55-inch long nails are in no way stealth, subtle, or even practical. And why must you always shout? Ninjas don't usually shout all the time."

Meanwhile at around this time, another ninja, Scorpion, plunged his spear into Kenshi's chest as he was dazed by Chun Li's onslaught of Lightning Kicks, shouted "GET OVER HERRRE!" and promptly uppercutted him into Pong.

"YES THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT I AM AN INNOVATIVE SOUL. I KNOW THE NAIL IS NOT A CONVENTIONAL WEAPON, BUT I, THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR BANG SHISHIGAMI WILL ONE DAY ENACT MY REVENGE ON THE WUSSY LOSER JIN KISARAGI AND BURN DOWN HIS VILLAGE AS HE DID MINE AND THEN MAYBE LITCHI WILL GO OUT WITH ME!"

Samurai Jack smacked his own face with his hand. "You are literally the worst ninja ever." An upward slash sent Bang into Mr. Big's bar back in Art of Fighting, where he was hilariously impaled on his own nail on the way down.

Paul Phoenix jumped into the ring and immediately punched Kenshiro in the chest. Kenshiro looked at him. "Bad idea, friend." Yun, meanwhile was being juggled between Hulk and Chun Li. Growing bored of this game of human hackey-sack Chun Li kicked him like a soccer ball over to Macho Man Randy Savage.

"HEY LITTLE MAN! What're you doin' in this tournament, brother, your mommy and daddy know you're in the ring?" Randy Savage held Yun by the shirt as he ineffectively punched and kicked at the air between him and the Macho King. "Ya know brutha, eat your veggies and say your prayers and maybe you can grow up to be big and strong like me, MACHO MAAAYYYUN RANDY SAVAGE OOH YEEEEEE!"

"Screw you!" Yun resembled a kitten being picked up by the back of its neck. Macho Man gently dropped him out of the ring. "Now run along, you little scamp." Randy wiped a tear from his eye. "It's always hard to let them go...OH YEEEEEEE!" Yun landed in River City Ransom where he punched the first guy he saw in the face (Grant) and headed angrily into town.

/Sub-Basement\

"So, why are we here?"

"You have much to learn, Adon. To be a successful villain you have to learn to not take crap from anyone you see. Magneto and Doom give the orders, but who says we have to follow them?"

"Wesker."

"Yes, but who IS Wesker?"

"The guy paying us?" Adon honestly had no idea where M.O.D.O.K. was getting at.

"Yes, but who are WE to be sitting back, being paid thugs? I should be the brains of this operation! It is I, not Wesker, nor Doom, nor Magneto who is the smartest out of our group. You're the Muay Thai champ, and I am M.O.D.O.K.! Arch enemy of Iron Man!"

"I thought that was Mandarin."

"MANDARIN! NO! I AM THE GREATEST ENEMY OF IRON MAN! IT IS ME! Mandarin is nothing compared to me!"

Adon ignored him.

"That Red Skull too! He thinks he's Captain America's greatest enemy, but he is wrong!"

Adon never wanted to kick anybody in the face as badly as M.O.D.O.K. "So, what are we doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He put his arm around Adon's shoulder. "We're starting our own evil organization!"

"I'm out." Adon quickly turned and walked back the way they came.

"I'll pay you double what Wesker's paying ya."

Adon turned back around. "Triple."

"Come on, double's a good offer."

"Quadruple."

"Deal." M.O.D.O.K. laughed. "Now to build our secret base, right here!" Adon immediately regretted his decision.

/The Ring\

"Mommy!" Paul Phoenix was punched to the other side of the ring by Kenshiro. "Did you really think you could survive a fight with me, kid?"

Paul Phoenix crawled backwards, whimpering. "Um...yes?" Kenshiro grabbed him by the throat. "I MEAN NO!" Kenshiro threw Paul out of the ring and onto a ceramic tile floor in a room covered in steam. Paul immediately got up and looked around him. "Where am I?" He walked around and saw a figure through the fog. "Hey, you! Where am I?"

"Hey darling, welcome to Kanji's Dream Bathhouse. I'll make you feel nice and special. Me and my delicious friends here." Two muscular men appeared behind Paul Phoenix.

"Oh...not a very good way to go." Sven remarked.

"Where the hell was that?" Joe asked.

"Persona 4. There's this part where you go into a dude's like, true self dungeon thing, and it's a men's bathhouse. But he's totally not gay, he only thinks he's gay, because he has a crush on this dude, but it turns out it's a girl the whole time, just dressing as a dude because she wants to be a detective, just girls can't be detectives in Japan or something, and he's all 'Oh wow I'm glad I'm not gay' and it's kind of really awkward now, because everyone thinks he's gay because of the whole bathhouse thing, and there's this really funny part where they all go on a camping trip and Kanji, Yosuke and the main character have to sleep in a tent, and Yosuke's all 'Dude is it safe to sleep around you?' and Kanji's like 'Yo I'm straight I'm gonna go to Chie and Yukiko's tent to prove it' and so he does but then Chie beats the crap out of him because Chie is the best character and they go back to the boy's tent and then Kanji has sex with this fat chick..."

Dusk and Joe were staring at him the entire time before Joe finally said something. "SVEN! Nobody gives two shits about Persona 4. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Isn't Persona 4 that Scooby Doo dating sim?"

"Holy crap that was awesome!" John slammed his fist on the desk.

"What happened?" Dusk turned around.

"Hulk and Kenshiro just had this epic ass fight while Sven was talking. Hulk won. It was seriously the greatest thing I've ever seen."

Kenshiro landed in Dragonball Z. Amazing things happened, but Dusk is too busy to watch because of this next scene.

Dusk had his hands around Sven's neck and was slamming his head into the floor. "YOU MADE ME MISS THAT FIGHT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT FILLER RPG CRAP? I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU!"

"Wait...I...didn't...tell...you...about...the...part...with...Teddie...cross...dressing..."
---------------------------
Results: (18 votes)



Scorpion (MK) 14:4 (78%)
Chun Li (SSF4AE) 13:5 (72%)
Samurai Jack (CNPTE) 12:6 (67%)
Hulk (UMVC3) 11:7 (61%)
Jill Valentine (UMVC3) 11:7 (61%)
Macho Man Randy Savage (WWEAS) 11:7 (61%)
Guile (SSF4AE) 14:9 (61%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 14:9 (61%)
------Line of Elimination------
Kenshiro (FOTNS:KR) 11:8 (58%)
Kung Lao (MK) 11:9 (55%)
Phoenix Wright (UMVC3) 9:9 (50%)
Raphael (SC5) 9:9 (50%)
Deadpool (UMVC3) 9:10 (47%)
Kyo Kusanagi (KOFXIII) 9:10 (47%)
Paul Phoenix (SFxT) 7:11 (39%)
Kenshi (MK) 5:13 (28%)
Shen Woo (KOFXIII) 4:14 (22%)
Yun (SSF4AE) 3:15 (17%)
Bang Shishigami (BBCSX) 2:16 (11%)
Xiba (SC5) 0:18 (0%) (Freaking...wow)

KOs: 2 - Scorpion, Chun Li, Samurai Jack 1 - Hulk, Jill, Macho Man, Guile, Wesker, Kenshiro

KO leaders: Guile 10, Wesker 9, Akuma 7, Kung Lao 4, Solid Snake 3, Leona 3, Cody 3, Kenshiro 3

KOs by Game:
Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition: 25
Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3: 20
Mortal Kombat: 12
King of Fighters XIII: 8
Street Fighter x Tekken: 4
Soul Calibur 5: 3
BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend: 0
Mystery Contestants: 9

Big slice of the pie: Street Fighter 4 right now has already eliminated 1/5 of the total rumble roster. And we're not even half way done. Just think about that.

I can't tell who's sadder this rumble: Soul Calibur 5 or Blazblue. Yeah, Soul Calibur 5 managed to rack up a few KOs, but they almost always get the bottom slot, and they have a much larger cast than BlazBlue. Still, jobbers, man.

Blue Turtle Shell Clause: With the exception of round 2, every round's first place slot holder has gotten eliminated the following round. Solid Snake, M. Bison, Akuma, now Kenshiro. The same couldn't possibly happen to Scorpion...right?

Voter Quotes:
Bang Shishigami - DIE (Why did you let these BlazBluers in here anyway? Although it is adorable, a fighting game in 2011 having 12 characters and none of them play like they're in the same fucking game. Do you hate America or something?)

Scorpion - DIE (Despite being the poster boy of MK, he hasn't been relevant to the storyline since...ever.)

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio
Matt "Dusk" Williams

Monday, April 2, 2012

Round 6 (Intro)

"...Join us?" Ryo asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes. I've realized the error of my ways, and I want to atone for my sins. I want to help you guys take down Bison, once and for all."

"How do we know we can trust you." Rose asked.

"Well, that I don't know, it's just something you're gonna have to figure out for myself. If you all decline, I'll embark on this quest of redemption on my own."

Guy and Rose looked at each other. "Okay, Sagat." Guy spoke up. "You win."

/The Ring\

The next batch of contestants were getting reading to come out.

"XIBA!" (SC5)

John paused. "Well, Sven?"

"What?"

"Aren't you gonna ask 'Who?'?"

"No because I really don't care. Frankly this Xiba guy is the stupidest looking fighting game character I've ever seen."

"RAPHAEL!" (SC5)

"Who is THAT?" Sven called out.

"You seriously don't know who Raphael is?"

"No, I do, but what the hell happened to him? It looks like he spent between games getting his master's degree in looking like a total badass. Looks like if the Undertaker had sex with Vampire Hunter D."

"And a very special guest...

MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE!" (WWEAS)

The Macho King was fresh from his pre-fight interview, which went a little something like this.

"Yeah, oh yee, wanna know how I know I'm gonna win this Rumble, yee I'll tell ya how I'm gonna win this Rumble. Macho Man, Randy Savage. Two time Dubbya Dubbya Eff Champeeon, Intercontinental Champeeon, King of the Ring Nineteen Sebbenny SIX AW YEEE. Who else can claim those accolades? NO ONE because nobody stands a chance in the ring with MACHO MAN! RANDY SAVAGE! And lemme tell ya somethin' else brutha, I've seen it all man, I've faced against Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Nature Boy Ric Flair, and all those men, my compadre, all those men, are 10 times the men any in that ring are, and I, Macho Man Randy Savage, is 10 times the man those wrestlers were. So if ya doin' your math correctly, makes me to be about a thusand men ooh yee."

Sven poured some of his beer onto the floor. "Rest in peace, Macho Man." John, Joe, and Dusk all nodded their head.

"KENSHI!" (MK)

The blind swordsman made his way out to the ring and slapped around Kyo teleknetically.

"CHUN LI!" (SSF4AE)

Sven put in the CD Ken had requested for Chun Li. A familiar beat came onto the speakers.

~Ready for action, nip it in the bud
We never relaxin’, OutKast is everlastin’
Not clashin’, not at all but see my nigga went to do a little acting.
Now that’s for anyone askin’ give me one pass em’
Drip drip drop there goes an ear-gasm
Now you cumin out the side of your face
We're tapping right into your memory banks
~

Chun Li held her face in her hands while Ken was laughing hysterically.

~I like the waaaay you move
I like the waaaay you move (Whoo-o-o!)
~

Chun Li swore to kill Ken as soon as this tournament was over.

/Superdome Hotel, Yun and Yang's Room\

Tron Bonne sat at a table, with a piece of cardboard standing up in her face. "Maya, you need to roll a 12 or higher on a d20 in order to disarm the trap."

"13!" Maya Fey called out. "However, due to the wizard's curse, you lose two to all your rolls."

"Wizard's curse?" Phoenix Wright asked. "When did that happen? You never told us about a wizard's curse."

"When you killed that wizard four rooms ago, he released a silent spell that cursed you all."

"You are the worst dungeon master ever." Sie Kensou scoffed.

"I cast a spell to rid us of the curse." Carl Clover said.

"You're not at a high enough level to do that, Carl. Also, this is just a casual AD&D game, you don't have to where LARPing clothes."

"This is just how I normally dress."

"...R-right." Tron Bonne turned to Jhun Hoon. "Do you have a spell that can counter that? Oh no, you don't because you're a warrior, too bad." Tron laughed. Yun's watch started beeping. "Well, that means it's time. We'll restart this game when I come back, with a new DM." Yun grabbed his skateboard and started kicking his way to the arena.

Tron protested. "Hey! No, I called DM!"

Phoenix got up too. "Yeah, if it's Yun's time to go, it's mine too. It was fun, but I need to be in the ring. Come on, Maya."

"Okay!" Maya happily followed Phoenix.

Tron sat and pouted. Carl, Sie, and Jhun had to deal with a very grumpy Tron Bonne now.

/The Ring\

"JILL VALENTINE!" (UMVC3)

"WESKER!" Jill dove into the ring and shot an entire clip into Wesker. The crowd cheered.

"And our fifth mystery fighter...

SAMURAI JACK!" (CNPTE)

Nostalgia kicked into the arena as the Samurai Jack theme song played through the speakers, and everyone cheered on the Samurai.

"YUN!" (SSF4AE)

Ken had originally requested "Fight Like a Brave" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, but Sven had a better idea.

~My man got a lil older became a better roller
No helmet, hellbent on killin' himself, was what his momma said
But he was feelin' himself
Got a lil more swagger in his style
Met his girlfriend, she was clappin' in the crowd
Love is what was happening to him now, uh
He said I would marry you but I'm engaged to these aerials and varials
And I don't think this board is strong enough to carry two
~

The crowd found themselves nodding their heads to the infectious songwriting of pre-Lasers Lupe Fiasco.

~So we Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Coast
So come and skate with me, just a rebel looking for a place to be
So let's Kick, and Push, and Coast
~

"SCORPION!" (MK) 

The crowd exploded into cheers as the well known techno Mortal Kombat theme blasted through the arena.

"GET OVER HEEEERRREE!" A kunai was plunged into Kenshi's chest.

"PHOENIX WRIGHT!" (UMVC3)

Phoenix Wright was accompanied by three things, cheers, Maya Fey, and They Might Be Giants.

~Mr. Horrible
Mr. Horrible
Telephone call for Mr. Horrible
But before he can talk to the ugliness men
There's some horrible business left
For him to attend to
Something unpleasant has spilled on his brain
~

Phoenix thought about the song that was chosen. "Hm, this rings odd, since there is indeed somebody who keeps moving my chair..."

"HULK!" (UMVC3) 

"HULK SMAAAAAAAASH!" The crowd burst into cheers. As soon as he got into the ring, he was body slammed by Randy Savage.

"Ooo yeee, Hulkster, you sure gotten a lot bigger than I last saw ye, and a lot greener. Woah, man."

"SHEN WOO!" (KOFXIII)

Shen Woo cracked his knuckles, and ran straight into the ring. An audience member held up a sign that said, "REAL MEN WEAR PINK!"





"BANG SHISHIGAMI!" (BBCSX)

"See," John Pointed out. "This is why BlazBlue aren't getting any KOs. Because of lame characters like this guy. I mean, who fights with a giant nail?"

"I dunno man, I think that's kinda cool." Joe said.

and finally...

"PAUL PHOENIX!" (SFxT)

Paul's entrance led to a debate between Sven and Dusk about who had the more ridiculous haircut; Guile or Paul.

Round 5 (Results)

"Raiden? Yeah, Raiden's back in his hotel room. I can take you there if you want." Johnny Cage had been sitting in the Superdome lounge when Guy and Ryo had approached him asking for Raiden's whereabouts.

"Yeah, that'd be great." Guy had a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Maybe once they found this Raiden guy, they could be close to uncovering this whole evil plot nonsense.

"Why do you want to see him anyway?" Cage said as he started leading them towards the hotels. Ryo explained the entire situation.

"So you need Raiden as guidance?"

"Yeah." Ryo continued. "Kung Lao said he'd be a big help to us."

"Kung Lao said that?" Cage stopped and leaned his back into the wall, looking at Guy and Ryo. "Of course he'd say that. Kung Lao and Liu Kang seem to think that Raiden is some wise all-knowing being, but between you and me, the guy's a looney."

Guy put his hands on the back of his head. "How so?"

"Well, the dude keeps talking about these 'visions' he has about the future Mortal Kombat tournaments back in our universe. Something about a Dragon King rising to power and a Day of Armageddon or whatever, but really, the guy makes the worst decisions."

Ryo kept listening intently and nodding his head.

"See, I'm not supposed to be talking about this, since the other fighters in my universe aside from a select few know this, but under Raiden's leadership, almost our entire squad got killed off. Kung Lao's still completely loyal to him, because he doesn't know what happened to him."

"What happened?"

"Well, Shao Kahn brings out this big four armed dude, Kintaro, and instead of sending Kang to fight him, he sends Kung.  Kung's a capable fighter, yeah, and he does defeat Kintaro, but immediately afterwards, BAM! Shao Kahn snaps his neck."

"Holy..." Ryo's eyes widened.

"Yeah. According to him, that 'wasn't supposed to happen' and that 'sending Kung Lao to become the champion was supposed to change the future, but only made it worse' and all that. Like I said, real quack."

"Well, I much thank you for being honest with us." Guy shook his head.

"How do you know all this? I must ask." Ryo asked.

"Well, after Kahn's death, I was one of the four, yes FOUR, Earthrealm warriors left alive. Just me, Raiden, Jax, and Sonya."

"Not Liu Kang?" Ryo raised an eyebrow.

Johnny Cage pounded on the wall and laughed. "That's the best part! Raiden gets this bright idea like, 'Oh I'm gonna transfer my Elder God powers to Liu Kang, so he can be the protector of Earthrealm.' Why? Hell if I know! Kang goes crazy with power, and guess what? Raiden has to kill him. He's literally a master of making horrible decisions."

"Well." Guy held back laughter. "Thank you for that. Sorry for bothering you."

"Not a problem at all." Johnny Cage shook both their hands. "I'm gonna go back to the lounge. Next time you see me, I'll be holding that big ass trophy! Oh, and if any of you need an autograph, call my agent and I'll mail you something." Johnny Cage ran off.

Ryo and Guy looked at each other. "So we need to think of a lie to tell Kung Lao when he asks why we didn't get Raiden..."

/Somewhere else, some other time\

It was a beautiful day. Sagat was just a young fighter, just winning the King of Muay Thai title, and spent his youth defending it. Now he was defending it against a fighter he's never seen before, a man by the name of Go Hibiki. It had been a great fight, one of the best he's had since his title win, up until this unknown fighter named Go grabbed something on Sagat's face.

"MY EYE!" Sagat clutched his face, and screamed in agony. This man had torn out Sagat's eye. He was no longer fighting for the sport, or for glory. Half blind he grabbed Go by the throat, and slammed on onto the ground. Punch after punch he connected with Go's temple. Even after he was unconscious he kept going. Punch after punch. Blood started to splash on Sagat's hands. He stopped upon realizing he was beating a dead man. But this didn't phase him. He wanted him dead. He had taken his eye, so Sagat took his life.

He was now staring at a beaten warrior. One by the name of Ryu. In good spirit, he decided to lend Ryu a hand in getting up. Upon approaching him, he noticed something was different. There was a fire in his eyes he'd never seen before.

"SHORYUKEN!"

Sagat was now enlisting to be a Shadoloo Soldier. He lightly grazed the scar on his chest with his fingertips. It was his reminder. His reminder why he was working with the new Thai dictator known as M. Bison. Revenge. Revenge on the man who had scarred his chest.

"WAKE UP!" Sagat was hit with a flying metal picture frame that had been previously hanging up on the wall. Sagat jumped back. He needed to focus. Sagat dashed in with a punch and a knee to Magneto's side. This was his one chance.

"TIGER....GENOCIDE!" He leap up and hit nothing but empty space.

"What the..."

"GRAVITY SQUEEZE!" Sagat never had a chance against the Master of Magnet.

"Now that you are no longer in my way..." Magneto magnetically unlocked M. Bison's door and stepped in.

"Bison, I have a business proposal for you."

/The Ring\

Akuma found himself taking on Elysium and Amaterasu at the same time. He kicked Amaterasu out of the way and hit Elysium with an EX Hurricane Kick.

"It'll take more than two fighters to take me out!" A Hadoken kept Elysium down while he Shoryukened Amaterasu.

"SONIC BOOM!" Guile was having no trouble beating up on Zero. Up in the stands, a robot was heckling Zero.

"Come on Zero, you can't even take out Guile?"

Zero hit back with a Ryuenjin and slashed at Guile a couple times in mid air. Guile jumped back and Flash Kicked him in the jaw.

"Wow, Zero, you really suck!"

Zero, frustrated, Raikosened Guile, who blocked, and immediately focus attacked, and kicked him up in the air and gave him a few shots to the body.

"Hey Zero, you should wear deodorant, because you're really stinking the place up."

"SHUT UP!" Zero shot Mega Man with a Mega Buster. "SONIC HURRICANE!" Zero landed in Quick Man's stage from Mega Man 2. He got up in a daze and saw two glowing yellow beams closing in on him. "Ah crap..." Zero exploded into a couple of orbs.

Meanwhile, Kung Lao and Kyo Kusanagi were chatting."So Ryo needs me on the outside? No problem. As soon as I'm eliminated I'll get Goro and Beni on this as well." Kung Lao winced. "You sure you couldn't eliminate yourself now?" "Not a chance."

"You sure?"

"Nope."

"Alright then." Kung Lao threw a hat at Kyo. Elysium meanwhile was tired of fighting Akuma. Elysium drew back her sword to knock Akuma out of the ring, but Akuma foresaw this and knocked her over with a Shoryuken. She fell right into Kenshiro, who was not happy with fighting people who had swords.

"The sword is the crutch of a weakling." Kenshiro blasted Elysium with a barrage of fists, and delivered a forceful palm strike which sent her toppling over the ropes. She landed in SSX, where she rolled down a mountain uncontrollably for quite some time. Amaterasu landed safely in a nearby tree (after being uppercutted out of the ring by Akuma).

"Oooh...that's nasty. We might have to give her some hot chocolate to make up for that dreadful landing." Sven scratched the back of his head.

"Now..." Kenshiro turned around to face the rest of the ring. "Who considers themselves the strongest fighter in the ring?" Almost immediately Akuma stepped forward, glowing with purple flames. "I do." Akuma put his arms up into his fighting stance.

"Well then. Let's see if you're strong enough." Kenshiro and Akuma lunged towards each other, flying fists and Hadokens littering the area.

"Dear lord." Dusk said up in the announcer's box. "I think I just crapped my pants."

"Yeah...this is indeed one hell of a spectacle. I can honestly say I did not expect this." Sven grabbed a handful of chips.

"Kenshiro's going down." Joe said.

"Akuma's strong and all, but it's freaking Kenshiro. The guy makes your face explode by punching you." John gave his two cents.

"Exactly. So, Sven, you watch Hokuto no Ken yet?" Dusk turn to Sven.

"I'll get to that after I get done Berserk."

"You're not done Berserk? Didn't you start that in like, 2006?"

"Yes, I'm setting a record for most procrastinated viewing of an anime."

"Yeah, no kidding. What episode are you on?"

"Uhh...like," Sven paused for a moment. "6 I think."

Dusk gave him a blank stare.

"I've been busy watching other stuff."

"Probably crap like Azumanga Daioh." Joe chimed in.

"Or that kindergarten anime." Dusk said.

"Mitsudomoe? They're not kindergarteners, they're 6th graders! And Mitsudomoe is freaking hilarious!" Sven took a sip of beer, about to say "I don't even watch anime anymore" when Joe said something.

"Sven has the worst taste in everything."

"Joe, your favorite band is Disturbed, do not talk to me about taste."

Their bickering continued as John tried his best not to get involved.

/Superdome Hotel, Bison's Room\

"Bison, I have a business proposal for you." Magneto said as he stormed Bison's office. Bison was seated at a mahogany desk, with imperial paintings aligning the walls of his hotel suite.

"Well, you storm my office, beat up my bodyguard, and now you want to do business?" Bison scoffed.

"Please, this is something that benefits you more than you'd think. May I take a seat?" Bison lit up a cigar. "Why the hell not? Please, I'm interested in what would benefit me so much that you would risk your own life coming here. Cigar?"

Magneto politely took the cigar, and cut it. "Well, I'm in business with the man you may have encountered in the ring, Mr. Albert Wesker." Magneto lit up his cigar as he explained the rest of the plot.

"And where do I come in?"

"Well, we could really use your Shadoloo forces, and your knowledge of the Psycho Drives."

"And what's in it for me?"

Magneto put out his cigar. "I'm glad you asked." Magneto stood up. "Wesker is prepared to give you the honorary position of General to his forces. When we finally get our hands on this power, there's no end to what we can do. Imagine it, millions of loyal soldiers, at your side, ready to do your bidding, ready to invade whatever universe you feel like invading that day."

"Go on."

"You will be an unstoppable God. Servants will grovel at your feet. They will kiss the very soil you walk on."

"You know me quite well, Magnus. Alright, I'm in. You had me at 'unstoppable God'." Bison smiled. "But what about my subordinate, Sagat?"

"We have no use for him. He's old, washed up. A former champion who never retained his former glory. Best to leave him, he'll just get in our way."

"You're right." Bison lead Magneto out of the room and walked by Sagat, who was still groaning in pain. Bison knelt beside him. "You're fired."

"...What?" Sagat had a face of excruciating pain and disbelief.

"You heard me." Bison stood up and walked away.

/The Ring\

Yoshimitsu flew into the across the ring using his sword as a propeller.  He was immediately slammed in the back by Kyo's Aragami combo. "FLASH KICK!" Kyo was knocked to the floor by Guile, into a teleporting Kung Lao. He got tossed into the ropes by a teleport throw. Kung Lao blocked all of Yoshimitsu's slashes and attacked him with a hat slice. Wesker, meanwhile, was still dealing with a very angry Dark Phoenix. "Am I too hot for you?" Phoenix kept pushing him farther and farther back. Wesker, deciding he was fed up with blocking her onslaught, decided to give her an attack of his own.

"OUT OF MY WAY! EERRRGGGH!!" The hyper combo, which included Wesker pulling a missile out of nowhere and throwing it at Dark Phoenix, resulted in her being exploded out of the ring. The entire arena shook in the aftermath of the attack.

"Woah woah woah...how come that guy gets missiles?" Kung Lao's complaint got him kicked in the jaw by Guile. Kyo was occupied with the weight of a very large Hugo crashing down on him. As he got up, he was tripped by a chain wielded by the newly entered Ghost Rider. "FEEL THE PAIN!" Yoshimitsu spun into Guile and double kicked Kung Lao into the air. Kung Lao got up, only to be taken down to the mat again by Junior Dos Santos. Junior planted his forearm into Kung Lao's neck and held his arm down behind his back. This continued for about 30 seconds.

"Excuse me, but what are you doing?" Kung Lao asked, rather puzzled by Junior Dos Santos's strategy.

"It's called a kataha. A basic judo choke, but when it's executed by me, there's not much chance of escape."

Kung Lao paused, genuinely trying to understand the situation. "And this is supposed to eliminate me?"

"Si, it's gonna cause you to either pass out, or tap."

"Tap? Anyway, let me introduce you to something." Kung Lao teleported out of Junior's hold and grabbed him. "This is a neck chop." Kung Lao delivered a swift, yet powerful karate chop to Junior's neck. "This I call the 'Striking Leopard'" Kung Lao delivered a series of lighting quick open palm strikes to his chest. He finished him off with a Spin, which sent him over the ropes. "And that final move is called the Spin. It's pretty useful when knocking scrubs who don't belong here out of the ring."

Junior Dos Santos landed on the planet Namek. "Lord Frieza! An Earthling just appeared out of thin air. What should I do with the intruder?"

Junior got up dazed. "Intruder? What? Where am I?"

"I'll deal with him." A single ki blast from Frieza destroyed every molecule in his body.

Joe would have rather enjoyed watching Junior Dos Santos's fate if he wasn't preoccupied with a heated, yet pointless discussion.

"Sven, you literally main with Ryu." Dusk was growing fed up.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"It just shows how much of a terrible person you are."

Guile got up from his sudden one on one fight with Yoshimitsu only to be slashed in the back by Deadpool.

"Oh, you didn't see my did ya? Well guess what baby, that's what happens when you're in the ring with me!" Yoshimitsu stepped back, being his fight with Guile was over, right into Hugo.

"Hey, look where yer going, ja?" The giant German grabbed Yoshimitsu, spun him in the air, and belly flopped right onto him. If the robot had feelings, he'd be feeling pain.

"You know what your problem is buddy? Not enough pizzazz." Deadpool kicked Guile up into the air. "I'm serious man, lighten up. Life is a party."

Poison got into the fight between Hugo and Yoshimitsu and started whipping the industrial robot around. Yoshimitsu was essentially a rag doll between Hugo and Poison. Meanwhile, right next to the beatdown, Kyo, after several minutes of being beaten with a chain and even catching a damn motorcycle to the face, managed to Shiki Kai Johnny Blaze out of the ring. He landed in Road Rash, in the middle of a highway. Ghost Rider casually dust himself off, and grabbed Rude Boy by the throat as he attempted to steer past him. "I'll be taking your ride."

/Skyrim\

"Eat, comrades, for we have made a killing in finding treasure!" Mitsurugi said as he chomped into his giant leg of lamb as he sat in front of a bonfire surrounded by his squad.

"That's okay, I have specialized food rations." Athena said as she pulled a small bento box from her backpack. "My manager says I can't eat anything but tofu and nori or else I'll get fat. Then he said if I get fat my fans won't like me."

"Screw that, give me one of those legs." Viola said as she stuffed the huge chunk of meat into her mouth. Gen stood there, silent. "Come, Gen, stop being so introverted, and be merry with us. We have meat, and we have mead, what more could you want?" Mitsurugi said as he took a large swig of his bottle of mead. "You know, I still prefer sake, but this mead ain't so bad either."

Gen looked at Mitsurugi. "I sense a disturbance. I'm going to step outside and look around." Gen excused himself and started walking towards the entrance of the cave. Viola turned to Mitsurugi. "What's up with that guy, he hasn't said barely a word since we've been together."

"Oh Gen's just like that. Let's not let it worry us, and enjoy this food and alcohol."

"My manager says if I drink, my fans will think I'm a drunken whore." Athena said, strangely cheerfully.

"I've haven't seen you this happy in a while."

"Ah, Viola, I'm just reliving my glory days as an adventurer! How I missed the exploring, the plunder, and the action!" Mitsurugi was happy, and very noticeably drunk.

"This reminds me of those Dungeons and Dragons games Sie plays. My manager says I need to learn how to play, since it will appease to otaku part of my fanbase. He says the sales in my body pillows have gone down, and I need to step up my game."

"Body pillows? What are those?" Viola was intrigued. "I'm not sure, but my manager says they're really important in maintaining my popularity."

Mitsurugi grabbed a lute from his supply sack. "Athena, my new friend. Since you aren't partaking in the festivities yet, why don't you play us a song?"

"Alright." Athena said as she grabbed the lute from Mitsurugi. "I don't know how to play, but I think I can strum it telekenetically." Athena played a traditional sequence of chords, very slow, like those of a drinking song. Her vocals, however did not match the beat.

"~Love love, love you like love!

Cherry blosson trees, where we kiss!

Strawberry cake, lovey lovey love!

We'll always be together!

When we kiss it's so lovey love!

Chocolate covered coronets,

Lovey love kiss!

And I hop-~"

Viola stopped her. "Please, let's just sit and have a nice conversation." Athena smiled, completely naive. "Okee dokee!"

"No, stop that, Viola. We need music!"

"Mitsurugi, I think you should lay off the mead..."

Meanwhile, Gen scoped the outside of the cave. He smelled a stink. Not a normal stink either; the stink of corruption and malice. After about five minutes, he figured it was just his imagination, and went to turn back. However, there was a knife in his back.

"Hehe...one down, 3 more ta go." Kano said with a sinister smile. Gen slumped to the ground, slowly disappearing. "I'll pick you all off, one by one, and all that gold will be mine. Then, I won't have to work for no stinkin' bastard Shao Kahn."

/The Ring\

Gen materialized into the eliminated seating. "Huh, what happened? Why am I back in the arena?"

Raven had been in the ring for less than a minute, but was already annoying Wesker. "So yeah, I guess you my new boss and such. Who's been giving you trouble. I'll kick his ass. I'll kick him in the ass, then stab him, then kick him some more, and give him a few punches, then I'll kick him again, then stab him some more times and-"

"Please...just..." Wesker looked around the ring and saw Ash Crimson entering. "Take out that guy...or girl...whatever, just go." "Okay boss!"

Wesker breathed a sigh of relief.

"Aye! You, mister girly hair! Get ready to fight!"

"Aw, how quaint. Now, why would you wanna pick a fight with little ol' me, I'm not much of a threat." Ash gave Raven faux puppy eyes, but it was overshadowed by a grin.

"You're not fooling me." Raven took out a knife.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not a very good liar." Ash summoned green flames to his hands and smiled even wider. Ash threw a Thermidor at Raven, who looked at it with a face that consisted of pure terror.

"MOMMY!"

"Oh don't you run away now, you tease."

The Poison/Hugo/Yoshimitsu fight had unknowingly merged with the Guile/Deadpool fight, and was joined by Kyo in a free for all fest. Kyo delivered a Shiki Oniyagi to Yoshimitsu, knocking him over the top ropes. This was around the same time Guile Flash Kicked Poison out of the ring. They both landed in House of the Dead, where Yoshimitsu was mistaken for a zombie, and Poison was mistaken as a civilian.

/Hallway\

Sagat was walking to particularly nowhere. He was lost in thought. Why had Bison betrayed him so easily? He was always loyal to Bison, even when it contradicted his own personal morals. The flashbacks he had while fighting Magneto were bugging him though. Ryu. He thought of Ryu. Was revenge really that important? Is revenge really this necessary?  He then thought of Go Hibiki's face when he punched him to death. What had he become? Was he really washed up? Did he have any fight left in him? Sagat stood and pondered for a full minute.

Sagat clenched his fist.

Yes. He can still fight. He wasn't washed up. In fact, this was the perfect time to fight. However this time, not for Bison. He continued his walk, but now, he was standing tall and proud.

/The Ring\

"Come on, this will only hurt for a second." Ash was running after Raven shooting Ventroses at him.

"WESKER!" Raven called out.

"Oh no, not again..."

"Weskeryougottahelpmetheresacrazydudewhothrowsgreenfirechasingaftermean- AH!" Raven was kicked out of the ring and into Goldeneye. As he got up, he noticed the entire room was filled with green smoke, and there were Russian soldiers running past him wearing gas masks. He suddenly felt very sleepy.

"Wesker, I presume."

"Yes, and who are you?"

"Oh you'll know that when the time comes, darling." Ash walked away, walking towards the Akuma/Kenshiro fight which was escalating to a new height this arena has never seen before. Kenshiro side stepped Akuma's Shoryuken and gave him a palm strike to the chest, sending him back; right into Ash Crimson's arms.

"Hey, buddy." Ash said as they were both engulfed in green flames. Ash laughed maniacally. A green explosion sent Akuma flying back across the ring. Akuma instantly got up to see Kenshiro running towards him with his fist drawn back.

"HA-DOKEN!" Akuma thrust his arms forward...but nothing came out. "What the hell is this?"

"YOU PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON!" Deadpool called out. Before Akuma could look back up, he was hit with a monster hook to the face. It sent him flying, literally flying, in an arch motion that landed outside of the ring. He landed in a jungle, where he immediately began practicing throwing fireballs. This was so weird, it's never stopped working until now. Kagemaru stood next to him. "Don't feel bad, I don't have any powers either."

Ash looked at the glowing purple fire forming in his hands. The Dark Hadou...one of the things he came to this tournament for. "Whelp, my work here is done." He walked over to Kim, who just entered, and gave his best "acting face".

"Oh no, Kim, please eliminate me, I'm way too weak for this ring..."

"Well friend, I did tell you that you were in way over your head (he didn't), so I'll put you out of your misery. WA! YATTA!" Ash was sent into Capcom vs SNK 2, the England stage. "Oh, I like where I ended up." Ash decided to use his 15 minutes here to do a bit of shopping.

/Announcer's Booth\

"HOW CAN YOU SAY NIRVANA SUCKS?" Sven was visibly red. Ken walked into the room, and caught a giant wave of their meaningless arguments.

"Umm...excuse me?"

"YES?" Sven turned around angrily.

"Are we allowed to request entrance music for other contestants?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Cool." Ken handed Sven a bunch of CDs and a list. Sven looked over the list. "Interesting choices..."

/The Ring\

Z.W.E.I. had entered, and instantly went to eliminate Kenshiro. He was however, stopped by Deadpool. "Hey, buddy, I like your outfit, oh and that hair. Very very stylish. Who does it? You must give me the name of your fashion advisor." Z.W.E.I. replied with an audible "Uhhh..." "Very very nice, the sleveless vest, multicolored hair...actually, you're a bit *too* stylish, makes me look bad, know what I mean?"

"Uhh..what?"

Deadpool sighed. "Some people just can't take a hint." Deadpool launched Z.W.E.I. over the ropes, where he landed in Shinobi X, in a futuristic base. He got up, scratching his head. "What the hell was that all about?" He said as he walked...off an elevator.

The rest of the ring, except for Wesker and Kenshiro, who decided to fight each other, were trying to take down Hugo. Hugo took the barrage of Sonic Booms, Hat Throws, and flame punches. They were getting tired before they could actually do anything to knock Hugo out of the ring. Deadpool came to the aid, and offered an idea. "Stand back, I'm gonna launch him into the air."

"You sure you can do that?" Guile asked, visibly sweating.

"Super strength. Eat your veggies, kids." A single kick sent Hugo launching into the air. Kyo jumped up and kicked him a couple of times. Guile joined in right after wards, delivering a Flash Kick that kept Hugo in mid air. Kim delivered a bicycle kick to the giant's midsection. "KUNG LAO!" Kung Lao jumped up and spiked Hugo like a giant volleyball out of the ring.

/Spiral Mountain\

"Banjo, you should send a letter of complaint to this Royale thing. He agreed to allow fighters here, but can't they land anywhere else but on top of our cars."

"Yeah, Kazooie, you're right, g'huh. I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind. Now where's that thing I signed?"

"I've been reading it since we've been talking. Says here we have a...three year contract. Three year contract?! Banjo, you stupid idiot!" Hugo came crashing down on their house.

"D'OOOOOOHHH!"

/The Ring\

Guile, Kung Lao, Deadpool, Kyo, and Kim joined each other's fists in the middle. "Great work, guys." Kung Lao called out.

"Yes, with our combined forces of good, we will vanquish all evil that comes into this ring. We, with our pure hearts, shall overcome the tyranny of corruption that plagues our very existence in this world. I, Kim Kaphwan, will not stand as evil is still present in this ring." Deadpool looked at him and pushed him out of the ring with one arm. The rest looked at him. "What, this is a free for all ain't it?"

Kim landed in Kung Fu. "Evil! I will vanquish you!" He said as he kicked several ninjas in the face.

"Well, with that folks, Guile and Wesker have now been in the ring for a full hour! That's quite impressive. It's a shame they didn't get a later draw, because either of them could easily win this." John said over the intercom. The debating had stopped, so he could finally hear himself thinks.

/Hallway\

"Ryo, Rose is going to be joining us. She is one of my good allies back in Street Fighter, and she'll be a strong asset in our team."

"We just need to find out if Bison's involved." Rose played with her scarf. "If Bison's involved, we have a much bigger threat on our hands than we initially thought."

"I can tell you, Bison is most definitely involved, Rose." A deep voice from behind them said. Guy, Ryo, and Rose turned around.

"SAGAT!" Guy clenched his fists.

"I no longer work for Bison. I am not a threat to you guys."

"Oh yeah, then why are you here?"

"I...I want." Sagat paused for a second. "To join you."

Guy's jaw nearly hit the floor.

------------------------------------------------
Results (15 Votes):



Kenshiro (FOTNS:KR) 12:3 (80%)
Deadpool (UMVC3) 11:4 (73%)
Kyo Kusanagi (KOFXIII) 11:4 (73%)
Kung Lao (MK) 11:5 (69%)
Guile (SSF4AE) 12:7 (63%)
Albert Wesker (UMVC3) 12:7 (63%)
-------Line of Survival--------
Akuma (SSF4AE) 11:7 (61%)
Kim Kaphwan (KOFXIII) 9:6 (60%)
Ash Crimson (KOFXIII) 8:7 (53%)
Ghost Rider (UMVC3) 8:7 (53%)
Raven (SFxT) 6:9 (40%)
Poison (SFxT) 6:9 (40%)
Zero (UMVC3) 6:9 (40%)
Phoenix (UMVC3) 6:10 (38%)
Yoshimitsu (SC5) 5:10 (33%)
Amaterasu (UMVC3) 5:11 (31%)
Hugo (SFxT) 4:11 (27%)
Z.W.E.I. (SC5) 3:12 (20%
Elysium (SC5) 3:12 (20%)
Junior Dos Santos (UFC:U3) 0:15 (0%) (Oh wow)

Bonus match:
Magneto (UMVC3)
beats the living crap out of
Sagat (SSF4AE)
8-3 with 3 abstentions

KOs: 2 - Kenshiro, Deadpool, Kyo, Kung Lao, Guile 1 - Wesker, Akuma, Kim, Ash

KO leaders: Guile 9, Wesker 8, Akuma 7, Kung Lao 4, Solid Snake 3, Leona 3, Cody 3

KOs by Game:
Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition: 22
Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3: 17
Mortal Kombat: 10
King of Fighters XIII: 8
Street Fighter x Tekken: 4
Soul Calibur 5: 3
BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend: 0
Mystery Contestants: 5

Whoops, what was a bad decision: Mystery slot wasted on Junior Dos Santos, who couldn't even muster up one single vote. Guess being the Heavyweight MMA champion really doesn't mean anything against guys like Wesker and Kung Lao.

The New York Giants Award goes to: KOFXII. While initially, I didn't think they'd do much, 5 out of the 7 KOFers who've been in so far have managed to get at least one KO.

Sean "Sven" Dougherty
John Paul Kopczenski
Joseph "Joe" Florio
Matt "Dusk" Williams