"Yes. I've realized the error of my ways, and I want to atone for my sins. I want to help you guys take down Bison, once and for all."
"How do we know we can trust you." Rose asked.
"Well, that I don't know, it's just something you're gonna have to figure out for myself. If you all decline, I'll embark on this quest of redemption on my own."
Guy and Rose looked at each other. "Okay, Sagat." Guy spoke up. "You win."
/The Ring\
The next batch of contestants were getting reading to come out.
John paused. "Well, Sven?"
"What?"
"Aren't you gonna ask 'Who?'?"
"No because I really don't care. Frankly this Xiba guy is the stupidest looking fighting game character I've ever seen."
"Who is THAT?" Sven called out.
"You seriously don't know who Raphael is?"
"No, I do, but what the hell happened to him? It looks like he spent between games getting his master's degree in looking like a total badass. Looks like if the Undertaker had sex with Vampire Hunter D."
"And a very special guest...
The Macho King was fresh from his pre-fight interview, which went a little something like this.
"Yeah, oh yee, wanna know how I know I'm gonna win this Rumble, yee I'll tell ya how I'm gonna win this Rumble. Macho Man, Randy Savage. Two time Dubbya Dubbya Eff Champeeon, Intercontinental Champeeon, King of the Ring Nineteen Sebbenny SIX AW YEEE. Who else can claim those accolades? NO ONE because nobody stands a chance in the ring with MACHO MAN! RANDY SAVAGE! And lemme tell ya somethin' else brutha, I've seen it all man, I've faced against Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Nature Boy Ric Flair, and all those men, my compadre, all those men, are 10 times the men any in that ring are, and I, Macho Man Randy Savage, is 10 times the man those wrestlers were. So if ya doin' your math correctly, makes me to be about a thusand men ooh yee."
Sven poured some of his beer onto the floor. "Rest in peace, Macho Man." John, Joe, and Dusk all nodded their head.
The blind swordsman made his way out to the ring and slapped around Kyo teleknetically.
Sven put in the CD Ken had requested for Chun Li. A familiar beat came onto the speakers.
~Ready for action, nip it in the bud
We never relaxin’, OutKast is everlastin’
Not clashin’, not at all but see my nigga went to do a little acting.
Now that’s for anyone askin’ give me one pass em’
Drip drip drop there goes an ear-gasm
Now you cumin out the side of your face
We're tapping right into your memory banks~
Chun Li held her face in her hands while Ken was laughing hysterically.
~I like the waaaay you move
I like the waaaay you move (Whoo-o-o!)~
Chun Li swore to kill Ken as soon as this tournament was over.
/Superdome Hotel, Yun and Yang's Room\
Tron Bonne sat at a table, with a piece of cardboard standing up in her face. "Maya, you need to roll a 12 or higher on a d20 in order to disarm the trap."
"13!" Maya Fey called out. "However, due to the wizard's curse, you lose two to all your rolls."
"Wizard's curse?" Phoenix Wright asked. "When did that happen? You never told us about a wizard's curse."
"When you killed that wizard four rooms ago, he released a silent spell that cursed you all."
"You are the worst dungeon master ever." Sie Kensou scoffed.
"I cast a spell to rid us of the curse." Carl Clover said.
"You're not at a high enough level to do that, Carl. Also, this is just a casual AD&D game, you don't have to where LARPing clothes."
"This is just how I normally dress."
"...R-right." Tron Bonne turned to Jhun Hoon. "Do you have a spell that can counter that? Oh no, you don't because you're a warrior, too bad." Tron laughed. Yun's watch started beeping. "Well, that means it's time. We'll restart this game when I come back, with a new DM." Yun grabbed his skateboard and started kicking his way to the arena.
Tron protested. "Hey! No, I called DM!"
Phoenix got up too. "Yeah, if it's Yun's time to go, it's mine too. It was fun, but I need to be in the ring. Come on, Maya."
"Okay!" Maya happily followed Phoenix.
Tron sat and pouted. Carl, Sie, and Jhun had to deal with a very grumpy Tron Bonne now.
/The Ring\
"WESKER!" Jill dove into the ring and shot an entire clip into Wesker. The crowd cheered.
"And our fifth mystery fighter...
Nostalgia kicked into the arena as the Samurai Jack theme song played through the speakers, and everyone cheered on the Samurai.
Ken had originally requested "Fight Like a Brave" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, but Sven had a better idea.
~My man got a lil older became a better roller
No helmet, hellbent on killin' himself, was what his momma said
But he was feelin' himself
Got a lil more swagger in his style
Met his girlfriend, she was clappin' in the crowd
Love is what was happening to him now, uh
He said I would marry you but I'm engaged to these aerials and varials
And I don't think this board is strong enough to carry two~
The crowd found themselves nodding their heads to the infectious songwriting of pre-Lasers Lupe Fiasco.
~So we Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Coast
So come and skate with me, just a rebel looking for a place to be
So let's Kick, and Push, and Coast~
The crowd exploded into cheers as the well known techno Mortal Kombat theme blasted through the arena.
"GET OVER HEEEERRREE!" A kunai was plunged into Kenshi's chest.
Phoenix Wright was accompanied by three things, cheers, Maya Fey, and They Might Be Giants.
~Mr. Horrible
Mr. Horrible
Telephone call for Mr. Horrible
But before he can talk to the ugliness men
There's some horrible business left
For him to attend to
Something unpleasant has spilled on his brain~
Phoenix thought about the song that was chosen. "Hm, this rings odd, since there is indeed somebody who keeps moving my chair..."
"HULK SMAAAAAAAASH!" The crowd burst into cheers. As soon as he got into the ring, he was body slammed by Randy Savage.
"Ooo yeee, Hulkster, you sure gotten a lot bigger than I last saw ye, and a lot greener. Woah, man."
Shen Woo cracked his knuckles, and ran straight into the ring. An audience member held up a sign that said, "REAL MEN WEAR PINK!"
"BANG SHISHIGAMI!" (BBCSX)
"See," John Pointed out. "This is why BlazBlue aren't getting any KOs. Because of lame characters like this guy. I mean, who fights with a giant nail?"
"I dunno man, I think that's kinda cool." Joe said.
and finally...
Paul's entrance led to a debate between Sven and Dusk about who had the more ridiculous haircut; Guile or Paul.
No comments:
Post a Comment